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Items In Your Room You Wouldn’t Want Your Professors To See On Zoom

On-screen, most of our rooms seem pretty unassuming, because many of us are wary of what gets displayed when we turn on our cameras. It’s unlikely that our Professors would be able to guess just from glancing at our Zoom backgrounds what disheveled, unruly mess of a life we all actually lead.

Today, we ask members of the Bwog staff to list some of the personal items from their rooms that they have kept hidden from the camera, and from their professors.

Some of the personal belongings that have come up are…well, disillusioning to say the least.

Here’s what we found from the corners of Bwog’s rooms:

The secret to surviving the pandemic:

  • Rolling papers.
  • Flask on desk containing Grey Goose.
  • My Mountain Dew Bong.

We have all been whining about not being able to leave our rooms, but the truth is we really can’t be bothered leaving our rooms:

  • Empty cans of white claw on my window sill.
  • Empty bottle of English cider on my window sill.
  • Copious amounts of coffee-stained, unwashed mugs.
  • Dirty laundry in small, scattered, but relatively neat piles.
  • Plastic bags from Morton Williams.
  • Crushed Arizona cans.
  • Delivery leaflets and coupons showing you have ordered food from the same restaurant for five consecutive days.
  • Bowl of ramen perched on top of a copy of the Illiad, which is now being used as a trivet.

Self-care is important:

  • My 4 bottles of medication and pill cutter.
  • Contraceptive.
  • Wax strips.
  • Jade face rollers.

In time of loneliness, we turn to our idols for guidance and comfort:

  • My Greta Gerwig shrine.
  • A Timothee Chalamet cardboard cutout.
  • A huge printout of Ron Swanson’s Pyramid of Greatness.
  • A framed portrait of Michael Fassbender as Carl Jung, next to the actual portrait of Carl Jung.
  • The unicorn pillow pet my best friend got for my bday.

Some of us have been plotting revolution from our beds:

  • My feverishly-scrawled, loose-leaf rant about how much I hate their class
  • The copies of the Communist Manifesto and Das Kapital on my dresser

Others have guilty pleasures they’d like to confess:

  • The entire After collection by Anna Todd.
  • My Gossip Girl posters (Chuck Bass <3).
  • My One Piece anime action figures (Nico!! <3).
  • Comic-Con merch.
  • Tarot cards.

We actually make the conscious effort to look cute on camera:

  • Heap of clothing thrown on top of my bed, in a moment of panic when I tried to fish out something that was clean enough to wear.
  • Make-up bag, half un-zipped.
  • The thick stack of paper I have put underneath my laptop to use as a stand, to give a better angle of my face.

And others have things in their rooms that are just…alarming

  • Locks of hair from my many suitors
  • A complete timeline of my professor’s life (to present day)
  • Blood from the last sacrifice

What You Don’t See via Curbed

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