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Manic Pixie Dream Girl Procrastination Tactics

For those who don’t want to do their reading but want to feel like the love interest in a John Green novel, Staff Writer Julia Tolda brings you a list of the best quirky ways to procrastinate.

Soon enough boring men with savior complexes will text you enigmatic messages like “I’m trying to understand you” and “I’ve never met anyone like you”, which you will ignore as you continue to build a dollhouse of Calico Critters using popsicle sticks.


  • Knitting tiny hats for frogs
  • Making playlists which spell out secret messages
  • Make your own yarn to crochet with
  • Making whimsical hand-tufted rugs
  • Collaging your favorite poems  
  • Making blackout poetry from your readings (instead of actually reading them)
  • Rewatching the Miley Cyrus “Heart of glass” cover or Lady Gaga’s 2009 VMAs performance of “Paparazzi’
  • Stealing my brother’s jeans, using a shoelace belt to hold them up
  • Writing Hozier lyrics on the wrappers of ginger chews
  • Setting polaroids of you and your ex-lover on fire and making artsy shapes from the ashes
  • Rediscovering the Lumineers and swaying around my room
  • Crocheting without patterns
  • Making way too many rectangles
  • Pretending the deafening construction sounds are just edgy instrumental music
  • Building a garden oasis on my tiny NYC patio


  • Reading the plot of horror movies of Wikipedia
  • Listening to gregorian chant
  • Taxidermy
  • Have a picnic with the wild animals/insects in your neighborhood (ie. squirrels, roly-polys, dragonflies) 
  • Whittling a wooden dagger
  • Making face masks for birds
  • Playing french café music while you read beat poetry
  • Trying on every turtleneck you possess to see if they still fit
  • Driving an hour round trip to get coffee and screaming to 2000s emo music in the car
  • Vividly imagining what my hair would look like if I had blue streaks in it
    • Making your roommate dye your hair with blue streaks
  • Strutting down the street blasting the smiths in a leather jacket 
  • Wistfully walking through a record store but never buying anything
  • Leaving half-finished cups of tea everywhere
  • Draco Malfoy fanfiction

Somewhat Productive

  • Write angsty poetry using whatever concepts you are studying
  • Make sourdough
    • Name your starter after your favorite 1930’s starlet
  • DIY modify all your clothes with scissors and bleach
  • Selling poorly upcycled clothing on Depop
  • Baking macarons 
  • Getting fully dressed to walk 30 feet outside to get the mail
  • Biking around the city wearing skirts to feel like I’m in a 90s music video. 
    • Like I’m about to flash the world and die simultaneously 
  • Researching which drastic hair cut to attempt during my next mental breakdown instead of watching lectures
  • Cooking using the microwave instead of using the oven or stove
  • Filling up my Redbubble cart and then never actually buying anything
  • Binge shopping for crocs and docs

Taking a hike is self-care via Bwog Archives.

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