Step aside Tenet: there’s a new sheriff in town.

NARRATOR: In a world without a campus…

[The camera pans over Morningside Heights and Harlem. We see shots of Butler Library, Ref (empty for once in our collective lives), Low Library, PrezBo typing up yet another email in his mansion, etc.]

NARRATOR: …only one campus publication can create a campus community founded on mutual ideals of news, shitposts, and a love of green grapes.

[We see a young, twenty-something sitting on the steps leading up to the Spectator offices. As a tumbleweed blows past, they pop a single green grape into their mouth and before closing their laptop dramatically.]

NAMELESS COLLEGE STUDENT: There’s only one way for me to uncover the truth.

[We see a montage of the college student’s computer screen as they frantically Google “blog meeting,” “how to join the blog,” “what is a bwog,” “what does bwog stand for” before finally stumbling across this very post.]

NARRATOR: Coming this Sunday, Bwog Open Meeting, based on a true story. One little blog overcomes the odds to become a journalistic powerhouse of epic proportions. Opening tonight at 9 PM EST in select computers across the country. Check your local listings for the Zoom link.

it’ll be a long time before we’re back here tbh via Bwog Archives