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Remedies For Your Buttache

Zooming through CU brings its own set of challenges to overcome, but perhaps the worst of all is the painful experience of your ass.

We have gone from sitting in hundred-year-old rickety wooden chairs in lecture halls to polyester-lined wheely chairs with mysterious stains…how will your body cope? I have personally felt the numbness of a seven-hour Zoom school day crawl up my legs and settle into my coccyx bone, resulting in the loss of feeling in my entire gluteus maximus. I gathered my fellow Bwoggers to assess the ass situation and see what could be done.

  1. Get up and walk the length of your space/room 15 times over.
  2. Sit cross-legged so your feet get numb instead of your buttocks.
  3. Sit on a large bouncy ball.
  4. Do butt exercises in the 10 minutes between your classes.
  5. Lay on the floor on your stomach to take classes.
  6. Sit on a pillow.
  7. Walk around after class and do lunges.
  8. Do squats.
  9. Give an enthusiastic partner a tennis ball or similar object and lay down.
  10. Go to class from bed.
  11. Do a lunge and then press your hips forward.
  12. Lay down on your back and pull your leg to your stomach.
  13. Socially-distanced ass massage.

Very best wishes in dealing with your numb, flat, deflated, sad, sore, or otherwise unhappy asses.

butt pic via Wikimedia Commons

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1 Comment

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous that last line feels like an insult somehow

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