Staff Writer Jeff Davis has collected some of the more unusual and eccentric sign-offs from professors in order to add a little extra oomph to your next email.

Sending emails is the worst. There, I said it. We’ve all been thinking it, but few have had the courage to speak so forthrightly. They are a minefield of complicated social mores: How formal do I have to be when emailing a professor? Should I use their title or their first name? Can I cold email someone I don’t know for advice? Is it weird for me to send an email to someone I’m familiar with but don’t have their number or social? Will trying to be funny ingratiate me or alienate the recipient?

Worst of all is the sign-off. “Sincerely” is frankly too sincere. “Yours” seems like someone is going to show up on your doorstep and profess their love. “Warm regards” communicates that someone has a barely concealed grudge against you. To combat this, we have collectively and implicitly agreed that “Best” and “All the best” are appropriate for all occasions.

The problem with “Best” is that it is bland. Neutral. Tasteless as mayonnaise or supermarket hummus. Where is the personality? The kick? The joie de vivre? The chutzpah? Why live meekly when you can live boldly?

To mix it up, we turn to those presumably responsible for our development: our professors. I know, you’re surprised. It’s unusual enough to even receive a sign-off from a professor, let alone an exciting one. But fear not, we have plenty of delicious examples to share with you. Here is a list of actual sign-offs, from mildest to spiciest, so that you may add them to your repertoire.

  • Till soon
  • In community
  • Happy shoveling [writer’s note: We live in NYC???]
  • Rock on (Sent from my iPhone)
  • Onward
  • Go with love
  • This is the last time and I mean it
  • Hang in there ladies, gentlemen, people, and freaks
  • Should we neither die nor live
  • In the mud and the mire
  • Yours in bureaucratic ecstasy
  • Heavy footfalls careening on the bluffs
  • With clothes unbound
  • Screaming into the empty void
  • Every edge is an athame
  • With black flowers glowing in the Evermore

We here at Bwog know that you can incorporate every one of these into your emails, as they are all entirely appropriate for professional and academic exchanges. You can make it a game. A challenge, you might say. Use a new one every day for the next sixteen days. It’s sure to cause a stir. You can do this. We believe in you.

Image via Bwog Archives