Mudd roof or bust!

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Isaac Horwitz, CC, Political Science-Statistics, Santa Monica, CA

Claim to fame: Becoming King of the Carman (basement) Lounge™ (if you think you spent more hours than me in that glorious space, even in sophomore year ,,,, think again).

Where are you going? My 9th grade Spanish teacher told me Places.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2025?

1. Everyone’s deepest and darkest fear has at one point been eating in the dining halls alone and no one ever talks about it…it’s ok to talk about it!

2. Tie between $4 sangria at Max Cafe’s happy hours (Wed/Fri 5-7!) and $4 frozen margs/pina coladas/pita chip platters at the Silvana basement.

3. Don’t take yourself too seriously!

“Back in my day…” A group of drunk freshmen would walk through Carman 6/8 and punch out the ceiling tiles. Columbia never found out who, so they tried to charge everyone on the floors equally. The good ol’ days.

Favorite Columbia controversy? Ok – before our time, but y’all remember hearing that story about (a nameless professor) saying “in order to learn quantum mechanics, you have to strip to your raw” and proceeding to take off all their clothes in front of hundreds of freshmen in FroSci? God I wish I witnessed that.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? Probably Film & Censorship in Franco’s Spain (advanced language through placement). I’m not great at Spanish, and this course goes beyond CU’s requirement, but if you can spare a class, I learned so much about Spanish film and history without ever having to open that cursed orange grammar book every other Spanish class uses.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Lactose intolerant but gonna have to keep cheese for the regret buys at Koronet’s. 

Whom would you like to thank? The Lerner architects gods for being so considerate and putting hooks for your backpack under all the seats outside Ferris. use that shit, y’all.

One thing to do before graduating: I’ve been trying to cajole Stan Liao and Emily Naranjo to take me to Mudd Roof for weeks (sadly I think Butler Roof won’t be possible during COVID – or at least a rare manuscripts library staff member stared me down on the sixth floor where said exit is supposed to be. If I’m wrong,  😘). Also, Public Safety, this is a joke.

Any regrets? Freshman year.

Portrait via Issac