Many curious claims to fame are featured here, but burning cookie dough in a microwave has to be highly ranked as one of the most bizarre.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Mari, SEAS (and proud as hell !), Mechanical Engineering (why), Houston “Screwston,” Texas, y’all!

Claim to fame: y e l l o w   g l a s s e s, CAVA’ed 4 times (concussion, concussion, pneumonia, skateboard), carrying primal scream, burning cookie dough in a john jay microwave, surfing in a snowstorm, going to JJ’s in a swimsuit, getting stuck in a volcano, Queen of Wien, got my 21st bday party shut down by the NYPD

Where are you going? Ask me in the park and I’ll have no idea because trees all look the same (sorry, Skylar)

New York for now, hopefully Antarctica later, and maybe space one day idk

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2025?

  1. If you don’t get into a *CORE CLASS* fear not! Go to Hamilton Hall EARLY !! in the morning on the first day of classes ! They will add one (1) student to each section
  2. The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. 
  3. idk who needs to hear this but Take! The! Extension! when you need to also do not fret no one does the reading

“Back in my day…” 
The CVS was a Rite Aid rest in peace i miss youuu

there was no lululemon ??? and i dreamt about having parties in EC my senior year :,(

Favorite Columbia controversy?
“On February 10, 2019 at approximately 7:10 PM Columbia University Public Safety was notified of a robbery that took place at West 120th Street and Broadway. The unknown individual in the photo below did ask the complainant if he had money in his backpack and then took a swing at the complainant causing his Apple Air-pods to fall to the ground. The unknown individual did pick up the Air-pods and fled eastbound on West 120 Street toward Amsterdam Ave. If the identity of the individual is known or if seen, please call 911 and Public Safety at 212 854-5555.” -James McShane

What was your favorite class at Columbia? omggg so many !! (and least favorites but let’s stay happy today)

adored my classmates in spanish for heritage speakers <3

MONTANA RAY if you’re reading this thank you for the best uwriting experience

modern stellar astrophysics (didn’t know anything about Stellar Astrophysics, and on the first day i realized i knew nothing about Modern, either)

ok tbh i actually really really enjoyed intro to electrical engineering lab

omg foundations of data science !! yi was an amazing professor

i did not like mechanics but james c. hone saved me

dinosaurs and the history of life PLEASE i love paul olsen

absolutely observational astronomy


also took some *amazing* summer classes at university of houston (thermodynamics and mechanics of solids) and hartwick college (country music!)

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Surprise me.

Whom would you like to thank?
water bottle man, columbia dining and facilities, CU women’s water polo, bleu shfit and the SAIL lab, all of my friends, every educator who believed in me, my lovely family, uptown anthem radio, WKCR sports, whomstever decided to let me go to this school, mechanical engineering 2021 for adopting me, and diet coke

One thing to do before graduating: drop in from the Big Pipe at the skate park !! 

Any regrets? lots of those. except without the R. Egrets. so many egrets. i’m from the gulf. 

immaculate vibes via Mari