A story of Minnesota, milk, and myabsolutewrath.

I would like to preface this by saying I love all the dining hall staff members who always work hard to feed too many students. The women at the front desks are especially my favorite as they are consistently straightforward and efficient. Every single dining hall staff member deserves additional pay from Bollinger’s 4.6 million dollar salary. Yet, this is not a fight list for our President but for dining hall administrators who need to figure their shit out. 

I hate constantly referencing myself as being from Minnesota, but it is all I know, so I will reference my origin as I please. I know New York is trying with this plastic ban and whatever. In a big city it is absolutely a good thing for our streets and environment; however, this is not the case with our dining halls. About a month ago, Columbia dining posted on their Instagram story and asked for suggestions. Two suggestions were, “can we bring back plastic water bottles?” and, “bags would be really helpful.” Columbia Dining responded with, “we are committed to not using single-use plastic products,” which is all good and dandy until I realized what an absolutely hypocritical statement this was. What about the single-use plastic cups? What about the plastic straws and lids? What about the non-compostable plastic utensils and the plastic bags they are wrapped in? Moreover, we were given single-use plastic products FOR NEARLY TWO FUCKING MONTHS! Committed to sustainability through not using single-use plastic materials my ass. Give me my damn water bottle and let me live my life. Maybe students wouldn’t have to be saved by off-peak hours if we didn’t have to stand in a drink line for 10 minutes instead of just grabbing a focking water bottle. OH! And need I remind you all of the beverage boat? We had hundreds of plastic bottles in that damn thing just for COLUMBIA to show parents how fancy it is. You put plastic bottles in a plastic boat. Wow. If you truly wanted to impress parents, then maybe you should lower our tuition. 

Counterintuitive boat, I miss you.

Anyway, back to Minnesota (I was asked if I am an international student a few weeks ago). I like milk and was raised surrounded by dairy farms. Before I go into my tirade, if you want shitty milk coverage, go here. Why are you writing an essay about being shamed for drinking milk? Accept it and move on. A true milk drinker doesn’t give a shit about milk shaming, they don’t complain, they just drink milk unapologetically. Like I do.

Back to my wrath. If milk wasn’t so expensive in New York, I would care a lot less about this issue. But guess what? It is, and I care a lot. I should not have to balance three plastic cups of milk on top of each other when I could carry one larger cup instead. This legitimately raises the question—why can’t we have bigger drink containers? Is it really that hard to order bigger cups that don’t have “Columbia Dining” plastered all over them? What reason do you have to limit the amount of liquid we consume? I drank a lot of milk back home and if given the ability, would go through a gallon every two to four days here. My bones are stronger than yours. Stay mad. 

All I want is milk, water, and bigger cups. Let me be happy. Please. 

peak hours via mclt

beverage boat via chloe harrah