Confused why the leaves haven’t changed color yet? Us too.

Since arriving at campus in August, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the wondrous abilities of Columbia University and Barnard College to make everything (and I mean everything) look good. Among this list includes male genitalia fountains (we are forever blessed with their elegant design), grass (which was planted blade by blade by little fairy garden gnomes in the wee hours in the night), and last, but not least, tents. However, something that can not be artificially beautified for the tour guides and families who are angry that their $80,000 are going to waste, is the trees.

Being from glorious New Jersey suburbia, I rely on the color-changing of trees to provide a spark of color and light in my life. I am sad to say that I am now 19 days into October and am in denial BECAUSE ALL THE TREES ARE STILL GREEN. Now I know I may sound like the Lorax when I say I speak for the trees, but I do, and I’m angry. Usually by mid-October, the trees have turned bright orange with some of their less fulfilling leaves fluttering to the ground. However, this transformation has not yet occurred and does not appear remotely close to occurring. 

As I’m sure we’ve all experienced the lack of the usual “fall feel” this year, you may be wondering why the moody midterm season has not been accompanied by the typical cozy blankets, hot cocoa, and JUMPING IN PILES OF RED/YELLOW/ORANGE LEAVES. Remember this summer when we would get flooded every weekend? Yeah, me too. (I loved it.) Well, supposedly, according to the “scientists” who “know things,” those heavy rains already pulled down all of the leaves that would be changing earliest. The weakest leaves are the ones that change the earliest so by eliminating all the weak leaves, Mother Nature (aka Mo Nat) said no to the fall feel.

Blame her. 

However, whilst we reminisce on those glorious rich reds and decadent autumnal ambers, here’s a list of things to do to feel like it’s fall again without looking to the useless trees for help. (Thanks for nothing Mo Nat.)

  1. Drink an overpriced ~disgusting~ pumpkin spice latte and pretend it tastes good.
  2. If Mo Nat can’t do it, you can! Paint leaves! Read Bwog’s tree recs for some ideas of which trees to paint for maximum fall feels. 
  3. Wear sweaters and scarves even though it’s literally 70 degrees! Let’s show climate change who the real winner is! 
  4. Consume some cough drops! The fall feel is always kindly joined by the common (or uncommon) cold… 
  5. Wear flip flops outside! That way, your toes will freeze and it doesn’t even have to be cold outside! 
  6. Last, but definitely not least, find a lover for the upcoming winter season. It could be a book, a pet, a plant, or even (if you’re really quirky) a person! 

While I may not know how to pump gas, I do know how to appreciate some good fall colors.

magnolia tree with gREeN lEaVEs via Bwarchives