Do you ever just want to give your dining hall a bad score on rotten tomatoes?
2021 has made some bad movies, and Barnumbia has made some bad dining halls. Ever wonder who would couple up if these two bad things got together in a bad marriage? Don’t worry, because I have. For your enjoyment, here is a definitive list of Barnumbia dining halls as the worst movies of 2021.
Diana: The Hitman’s Wife’s Body Guard
With calorie counters and shit portion sizes, much like The Hitman’s Wife’s Body Guard, this dining hall shamelessly panders to women but ends up missing the mark in a kinda offensive way.
Ferris: Space Jam: A New Legacy
You never really know what you’re getting into when you go to Ferris, a lot like how I would imagine it to be watching this rebooted version of Space Jam with LeBron James. I also feel like there are a lot of student-athletes that eat here, making me feel like a Looney Tunes character.
Faculty House: Boss Baby: Family Business
This dining hall gets the job done in a fun and kinda chaotic way. The vibes also are pretty fancy at Faculty House, vibes that I think the Boss Baby would appreciate.
Hewitt: City of Lies
The actual food selection at Hewitt is never what it says it’s going to be on the menu, so I would say it is a City of Lies. Also, there are too many men in there, like in the movie.
John Jay: The Tomorrow War
It’s very bland in a way that kind of feels homophobic, John Jay most reminds me of The Tomorrow War starring (barf) Chris Pratt.
JJ’s: Escape Room: Tournament of Champions
Set in a basement with a confusing set of lines and rules, JJ’s most reminds me of Escape Room: Tournament of Champions. As I descend into its depth, I often find myself wondering if I will ever see the light of day again.
John Jay via Bwarchives