The advice you need at just the right time…

It’s that time of year again. The weather is getting cold, the holidays are in full swing, and you are emotionally decaying in Butler till 3 am each day regretting existence. Ahhh yes, finals season. 

But sometimes, despite your Red Bull-induced-frenzy, it is physically impossible to get everything done in time. Sure, you can chug coffee till your eyes bleed, but there just aren’t enough hours in the day. Sometimes, you have to admit defeat and ask (beg) your teacher for an extension. When those times come, don’t worry because Bwog is here with the top five ways to ask your professor to please, please let you live another day. 

1. Tell them it’s a no bones day. (I mean they are human after all, they have some mercy. Please note that this works best with TAs who actually may be on TiktTok vs. professors over the age of 30 who will look at you like you’ve gone absolutely mad.) 
2. Send an incredibly detailed email that is in fact so ridiculous that they stop reading after the first line and grant you the extension. (Please note that after line two you can start writing absolute gibberish as there is no way they are getting that deep in). 
3. Tell them your therapist told you to practice saying no to things and asking for what you deserve. 
4. Tell them that after your 17th mental breakdown in Butler you have decided to drop out of college, move to Greece, and were wondering if you could submit this paper slightly late as you are in fact moving to a new country with the intention of Mamma Mia-ing the rest of your life. 
5. Send them a normal email apologizing and telling them how overwhelmed you are with everything going on right now and hope they can see the pain in your eyes through your laptop screen. This is probably the best one to do if you are a sane person but I’m not sane so I’ll be going with number one. 

a dead fucking human via PixaBay