If you’re looking for a sign to ask for an extension, Johnnie’s Senior Wisdom is it.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Johnnie Kenneybrew, Barnard, Iberian Studies, Washington, DC

Claim to fame: Moving to Zaragoza [tharagotha] alone at 15, marrying (a Spaniard, of course) at 22 and pretending like both of those events are completely normal 

Where are you going? Hiring top software engineering talent from around the world for ****** offices in Madrid and Barcelona! 

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2026?

  1. Put everything (really EVERYTHING) on your google calendar and take ownership of your time. Staying on top of deadlines and even socializing can be hectic so do yourself a favor and start good habits before you need them— your senior self will thank you later. 
  1. ALWAYS match professors’ energy and don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself especially if you work and/or have other priorities outside of class. Being able to make school your whole life is a luxury and sometimes professors forget that.
  1. Asking for an extension, even at the very last minute, is always better than pulling that all nighter. I promise. Nothing is ever THAT serious. But if you are going to pull an all-nighter do it with friends and at least make it memorable. 

“Back in my day…” Casa latina was in EC 

Favorite Columbia controversy? Columbia serving filet mignon during the tensest day of the grad student strike… like, read the room. 

What was your favorite class at Columbia? Catalan with Elsa Úbeda or anything with João Nemi or Ronald Briggs 

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? If you see these dogs in your front yard, just know upstairs I’m going hard. BING BONG. What do you want to tell Joe Byron right now? What’s up baby take me out to dinner.* … *a lactose free dinner

Whom would you like to thank? I’ve met the most amazing people here and I’m so grateful to have them as my chosen family. You know who you are. Thanks for the unconditional support and for the 4 years of memories I will cherish forever. 

One thing to do before graduating: Work at the call center— be sure to say Johnnie referred you. 

Any regrets? I watched a man put a pigeon in his backpack in Herald Square once. I regret going to Herald Square that day. 

Portrait via Johnnie