I asked Rihanna, and she said anytime rain is mentioned in “Umbrella,” it can be replaced with snow.

Last Friday, right before noon, there was a steady flow of snow coming down from the sky (you know how precipitation works). Since I had spent some time getting ready, I, naturally, did not want to end up soaked by the snow or have it hit my face—it’s simply frozen water after all, and it was melting the moment it hit the ground. 

As I grabbed my umbrella, some strange voice told me to check outside the window to see if others would be holding one as well. To my surprise, I saw one person—out of about 15 people—that wasn’t completely rawdogging the snow. 

Respectfully, what the fuck? If it were raining at the intensity it was snowing that morning, all of you would be clutching your umbrellas. What is the difference? And no, I’m not necessarily advocating for the usage of umbrellas in a blizzard because the wind would absolutely flip that shit out of your hands. When flakes are falling in a mild-to-moderate manner and easily melt, why have so many of us thought, “yeah, I’ll just walk through this with my hood up.” The canopy of an umbrella curves over to prevent it from blowing into your face and hair (again, when it’s not ridiculously windy), a capability that a hood simply does not have. Also, I’m a bitch that wears glasses—if I rely on my hood, that shit will not protect me and I don’t think you all want someone with my eyesight loose on the street. It’s a positive externality!

If the snow is falling at a rate in which it will pile up and weigh down on your umbrella, yeah, obviously don’t use one. But if it’s melting quickly and large amounts are falling and flying into your face, be brave! Use an umbrella! We don’t need to act so tough! We are not better than the snow! We use umbrellas in the rain and even when it’s straight up just too sunny. Why stop there?

Or maybe my Florida is just showing.

umbrella used in a justified manner via Max Pixel