How to participate in sports happening thousands of miles away.

Shockingly, the Beijing Winter Olympics are two weeks away (in true pandemic fashion, this means the 2022 Olympics are happening 180 days after the 2020 Olympics). It may be hard for Columbia to ever host the Olympics, with our entire campus being roughly the same size as one full sized olympic stadium. As we get closer to the games, however, there are some ways that we can participate from our own campus.

Opening Ceremonies

Instead of watching an elaborately-choreographed hundred-million-dollar spectacle, watch a recording of PrezBo’s speech during convocation. There won’t be any torch involved, but he may talk about the fire of academic thought or something like that. Now please take off any hats and stand for our song, Roar Lion Roar.

Luge: Falling Down Icy Stairs

While we may not have a 4,000-odd foot track for us to slide down at truly absurd speeds, we do have a very large set of stairs in the middle of campus. Either wait for it to snow and grab a sled or just go for it now! In Beijing, the track has 16 different turns. If you take each stair as a separate turn I think we have a shot of beating them.

Speed Skating: Speed SSOLing

Just like the Winter Olympics, the winter shopping period is a two-week-long period filled with highs and lows, with inspiration and tragedy. Making sure that you can register for the classes you want may take drive, determination, and grit. Truly inspirational.

Cross Country Skiing: Running to Class

A 100-year-old campus is not without its flaws drainage-wise. You could even make a game of trying to avoid puddles and other unforeseen obstacles—and by joining the Columbia Winter Olympics, you can do just that.

Bottle Flipping

It is not an Olympic sport to put on a ski mask, go to the center of campus, and kick a plastic water bottle into a trash can halfway across Low Steps. But it should be. And, if it were, Columbia would easily get the gold in it.

Olympic Rings via Bwog Archives