Former Deputy Arts Editor and current LinkedIn king Adam delivers all the wisdom you need to know.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Adam Kluge, Columbia College, History and Political Science, Buffalo, NY

Claim to fame: 1,000+ followers on LinkedIn and “Chett” in the 128th Annual Varsity Show

Where are you going? Mentally, I am headed somewhere with lots of sunshine and padded walls. Physically, I am crossing the ocean and heading to the University of Oxford to complete an MSc in Criminology in September.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2026? While there are so many lessons that I have taken from my time at Columbia, the 3 things that feel the most important to share with the Class of 2026 are as follows:

  1. Columbia selected you because of the unique gifts and prospects that you offered via your application and admissions profile. In the effort to make friends and adapt to campus life, never sell yourself or the character you bring to the table short. You are inimitable and exactly where you belong.
  2. Even as you deal with imposter syndrome (I hate this term, can your class please come up with a new one?!) and the other stresses of your first year, try and seek out a strong support system of friends and mentors––and remember that it is always healthier, albeit hard, to leave a negative relationship before you compromise any part of your own well-being.
  3. DO NOT eat the waffles in Ferris. They will always have the texture of a brick and the taste of cardboard. Seriously…don’t do it.

“Back in my day…” Zac Efron did not have the abs he does now. Harry Styles was a twink. Nate Jacobs didn’t exist. Bring back scrawny men and awkward (perfect) Disney Channel original movies.

Favorite Columbia controversy? Am I allowed to mention the public rift between PrezBo and Deantini? No? Okay…second choice: “Venmo Me for my Emotional Labor” (If you have not read this, please do:

What was your favorite class at Columbia? If you can only take one class, take “Abolition: A Social Justice Practicum” with Professor Bernard Harcourt. Utterly, and completely, life-changing. Deeply impactful. GOAT.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Am I giving or receiving?

Whom would you like to thank? There are so many people who have impacted my time at Columbia, for better and worse. There are those who have been there in my moments of greatest distress or sat with me when I was in the midst of a multiple-day spiral. There are also those in my performing and Varsity Show families, who sweat backstage with me or cheered from the front row. There are the boys of SHARP, the best a cappella community in the world. There’s the staff at Book Culture, who knows me by name and give me a student discount even when I don’t deserve it. And then there’s my family who, through the tumult of the last three years, has consistently reminded me that love is the only thing really worth fighting for.

One thing to do before graduating: I’m trying to swim in the penis fountains, but I also am not sure how high the risk of scurvy contraction is. Any suggestions or swimming partners would be greatly appreciated.

Any regrets? I discovered the euphoria of the Milstein green chairs as a senior and I am deeply, deeply ashamed.

Portrait via Adam