Oooh, you want to come to tonight’s Bwog meeting so bad!

Your eyes are getting heavy.

They’re getting very heavy and you’re getting very sleepy.

You’re asleep.

Now, when I say “Bwoggity woggity” you’re going to wake up and know exactly when (tonight at 9) and where (Lerner 510) the Bwog meeting is.

When I snap my fingers, you’ll have the strongest urge to attend. Not only will you attend the meeting, but you will pitch the most nuanced, intellectually stimulating, and hilarious articles of all time.

When I say “Bwog 5ever”, you will eat green grapes and a delightful assortment of snacks at the meeting. In fact, you will be so hungry you’ll push in front of everybody and absolutely gobble them down. You will not share. This part isn’t to advertise today’s meeting, it’s just for my own personal comedic enjoyment. Everyone is going to be so confused. It’ll be hilarious. I love hypnosis.

Then, you’ll write so many fantastic articles that all of Columbia will call for you to run Bwog single-handedly. There is no stopping you and my hypnosis skills.

Your reign begins tonight at 9 in Lerner 510.

Now all that’s left is one thing…

Bwoggity woggity.

Hypnotic spiral via Wikimedia Commons