With the Oscars coming up this weekend, how better to spend the time you could be studying for midterms than by contemplating movies you probably haven’t seen and their similarities with buildings you’ve never been inside.
With the Oscars coming up this Sunday, March 12, a lot of people are saying a lot of things (both generally, and about the nominees). Obviously, Bwog is by the people, for the people, so I am here to give the people what they want. You can stop asking! Here are all of the “Best Picture” nominees as Barnard residence halls. If you disagree, that is very unfortunate, because as a person who saw approximately 3 of these movies (I’ll let you guess which ones) to completion and carefully analyzed the rest of the trailers, the buck stops here.
Top Gun: Maverick
Hands down, Top Gun: Maverick, is Sulzberger. A favorite of people who don’t know anything about any of the other residence halls. Tom Cruise is overrated, and so is having AC in exchange for tiny, dingy rooms.
Everything Everywhere All At Once
It’s 601 West 110th Street. It’s sexy, it’s popular, and loved by all–and for good reason.
CW: hot take. Women Talking is Hewitt. This is not derogatory. As a non-Hewitt resident but Hewitt number-one-fan, this comparison is arguably the most intuitive. Both the film and the rez hall are severely underrated, and I will take any opportunity to fight on their behalf. I love them both and all their haunting creepiness!
Triangle of Sadness
Brooks. Brooks looks like the cabin of a ship, much of Triangle of Sadness takes place on a ship; it all adds up.
The Banshees of Inisherin
537 W. 121 St. I think people who live there watched this movie. You know you agree.
620 W. 116th St! A classic. Not to mention, Steven Spielberg famously visited Barnard once and pointed to 620 on his way back from Shake Shack, saying: “one day I will make a movie, and that movie’s vibe will match this building”. His words, definitely not mine.
All Quiet on the Western Front
This standout Netflix film is no doubt 616 W 116th St. They are both new in an old way. Interpret that how you may.
Avatar: The Way of Water
Much like Plimpton’s relationship to the 600s, Avatar: The Way of Water is just a worse version of the original Avatar. A fellow Bwog writer, remarking on both Plimpton and Avatar, confirms, “Nobody asked for this”.
ELvis and ELliott. They are basically the same word. They are both equally irrelevant. And you can’t tell me that walking down Claremont doesn’t make you feel like Austin Butler.
Last, but certainly not least, is Tàr, equally as beautiful and enigmatic as Cathedral Gardens. This movie is as whimsical and heart-wrenching as the walk all the way to 217 Manhattan Ave.
If you haven’t yet seen these films, now you can, and should, watch them with these comparisons at the forefront of your mind. Even better, watch them in their corresponding buildings for a super intense cinematic experience!
Image via Bwarchives
@Anonymous I suspect the Oscar nominees are in worse disrepair than the residence halls. It’s all the drugs, you know. Permanent brain – and body – damage. Heck, that’s why ALL their crevices are incontinent and why the city agency had to be renamed Human Crevices Administration. It was all in the End Suffrage petition, but you didn’t notice. Just try inserting “DO you really read this?” in your essays and see if the twerking assistant. Note the first three letters of the second word of their title.