It’s weird here.

I’m sure that by now, we’ve all seen that TikTok trend of people making lists of things that would send a Victorian child, a pilgrim, Henry VIII, etc., into a coma. Instead of taking my own twist on this trend to TikTok, I’m taking it to Bwog. With that being said, here is a list of Barnumbia things that I think would send a non-Barnumbia student into a coma.

Big Sub

One of Barnard’s only traditions involves 750 feet of sub sandwiches spread across Barnard’s Campus. The smells of deli meat fill the quad, and students swarm the sandwich and, after the countdown, attack it like vultures. 

Having a class on the top floor of Hamilton 

POV, you’re running late for your 8:40 am class on the seventh floor; want to take the elevator? Don’t even think about it, or by the time you get through the line and make it to your class; you’ll have missed the entire thing. Get ready for a morning star climb.

The middle station at Diana Center

Every few weeks, on seemingly no consistent timeline, this station has presented the offering of vegan food, chicken tikka masala, vegan and non-vegan popcorn chicken, and most notably and horrifically, the ramen bar. See Bwog’s review for more information on the precise horror of the Diana ramen.

Being a rising sophomore during housing selection

Only the strongest of freshmen-year friend groups will survive.

East Campus Barnard sign-in line

Trying to go to a party in someone’s EC dorm, but you go to Barnard? It’s going to be a minute waiting for someone with an ‘oh so special’ Columbia ID to give you a swipe in. 

John Jay Dining Hall on a Sunday at 6 pm

Want to run into everyone you have ever met in an extremely hot, noisy room and be unable to find an open table? Then go to John Jay! The most anxiety-inducing dining experience on Campus. 

The concept of closing a lawn

Grass? Closed? Yes, as absurd as it sounds, there are flags that indicate whether or not the South Lawn is open.

People having sex in Butler Library

What happens in the stacks stays in the stacks.

Low Library not actually being a library

It’s not a library, but I honestly don’t even know what it is, and at this point, I’m too scared to ask.

Seeing what Barnard students wear to class

You’ll never catch a Barnard student looking unfashionable in class. No matter the day or the time, they never fail to serve. 

Chandler Hall

This building literally doesn’t exist; I mean, it does, but it has no entrance, so does it really?

Low Library via Bwog Archives