The realest evaluation of the main Barnumbia dining halls to-date—Halloween edition! Tricks or Treats, or Soon-to-Be-Ghosts of Halloweens Past?

John Jay – Twix Bar

My personal favorites, the Twix candy bar and John Jay Dining Hall have so many layers, the flavor is indefinite. From the second you walk into John Jay, your taste buds are pulled in a million different directions; the rice bowls, the pasta, the salad bar, the grill – where to start?! The Twix bar, of course, features that thin layer of caramel, but it’s the cookie which really makes the candy so unique. It’s chaotic, but tasteful, and the golden wrapper is reminiscent of the coveted dole whip station (I actually have never tried dole whip oops, and I have been told that I’m missing out, so here we are). Classic yet creative, John Jay has major Twix energy, and as my number one candy, its god-complex is warranted.    

Twix will always be the superior candy.

Hewitt – Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Mini Bar 

Hewitt is most definitely a Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Bar, but the ‘mini’ size. It’s reliable, it’s pretty basic, and it requires a diner minimum of three plates per meal. Even if you just want one piece of chicken and two pieces of roasted broccoli, possibly some beans, you MUST carry multiple plates. If you aren’t balancing plates on your forearms, almost dropping pieces of pizza, then you aren’t truly living. When you walk into Hewitt, the meals may or may not be aligned with the online menu, HOWEVER, there will be an ample number of donuts to satisfy your sweet-tooth. Hewitt is just like a mini Hershey’s bar, a quick experience, offering only simplicity and familiarity. 

Diana – Skittles

Diana is so Skittles. She is kind of all over the place, yet finds a way into everyone’s heart. First of all, the seating in Diana is kind of sparse, and the environment is more geared to ‘grab-and-go,’ rather than sit-down dining. Skittles are packaged conveniently, colorfully fun, and a mix of sweet and sour – Diana is the same! Diana serves a wide variety of similarly prepared foods, ranging from take-home hot pizzas to DIY burrito bowls (or, if you’re lucky, a ‘smoothie,’ which is really a bottomless pit of sugar – but isn’t that what a true Skittle is?), and just one handful of Skittles will give you a rainbow of colors. 

 Skittles are a rush of sugar; Diana is just a rush.

Liz’s Place – M&Ms 

Fan favorite, very much vibes of nostalgia. M&Ms are the candy which every trick or treater can rely on, the perfect mix of crunchy sugar and melty chocolate. At Liz’s, you can take the traditional route and get a personalized beverage, oooorrrrrrrr, you could heat up one of the many breakfast sandwiches, pick up a kombucha, or munch on a blueberry muffin. There are so many pastries and breakfast items on Liz’s singular counter, that you will never get bored of breakfast food. With a plethora of variations, from Peanut to Caramel to Mini, the M&M brand has also mastered the idea of ‘something for everyone.’ Liz’s Place is such a comforting café, that I can’t help but pair it with the friendly M&M. 

JJ’s – Laffy Taffy 

Hot take, this candy should be banned.

You either love it or hate it. I am a hater, of both JJ’s and Laffy Taffy. Sticky, no options, and digestively problematic, JJ’s/Laffy Taffy is the equivalent of coal in your stocking on Christmas. The sunshine-yellow and Pepto Bismol-pink Laffy Taffy colors resemble the bold scent of JJ’s french fries and burgers – there is a reason that JJ’s is in the basement of a building, and it’s the same reason that Laffy Taffy is at the bottom of the candy bowl. 

Ferris Booth – Milk Duds 

This place might be one of the most overwhelming places to which I’ve ever been; similarly, Milk Duds are not a treat for the faint of heart. It takes EFFORT and COMMITMENT to enjoy Milk Duds, no matter how indulgent they taste. I felt claustrophobic in Ferris, as a line of people wrapped around the food stations, elbowing each other to get out unscathed (no rice bowl is worth that much time). A box of Milk Duds is filled TO THE BRIM, so that chocolate inevitably smears on the top. I love Milk Duds, but they are one of those candies which demand my full attention and awareness. Eating at Ferris Booth is a similar experience – appreciated once you’re gone, but stressful in the moment. 

Faculty House – 100 Grand Bar  

Based on its operative hours and upscale dishes, Faculty House thinks highly of itself; one might say that it feels like 100K, aka ‘100 Grand’ (lolz – I crack myself up). Faculty House wants to redefine college dining, and so it does not necessarily fit in with the other dining halls. The 100 Grand candy bar is not your run-of-the-mill Halloween candy, just like Faculty House is a rare dining opportunity (literally, it’s only open weekdays 11:30 am to 2 pm). The architectural ambiance can compare to the rich flavor of 100 Grand, both serving expensive tastes. I think the name, ‘Faculty House,’ speaks for itself – you just know it’s going to have as close to a “country club” vibe as possible. Like this refined, almost too mature for a college dining hall, the 100 Grand bar is a candy that leaves a stronger impression than the urge to come back for more. 

Doesn’t it just scream “overly sophisticated marketing?

Candy bowl via Bwarchives.

Twix via Pixabay.

Skittles via PxHere.

Laffy Taffy via Flickr.

100 Grand Bar via Flickr.