Finals are really hard, and Google makes them… more interesting. 

In honor of finals being scary and Google being very helpful, here is a compilation of all of the things Bwog staffers searched over the past few weeks. 

We did actual work on our finals:

  • “collapsible easel invention date” 
  • “coverups in the 19th century”
  • “world oil production 2019”
  • “two headed calf poem”
  • “nude marble statues”
  • “history of medieval France”

…and that came with some obstacles:

  • “define thoroughly”
  • “dance definition”
  • “define good”
  • “does quizlet plus have a student discount”
  • “grade calculator”
  • “which professional looking font is biggest” (don’t ask, you already know)

…so we looked for distractions:

  • “shake shack morningside heights closing hours” (very sad that it was closed after all my gruesome research on medieval France)
  • “starbucks” (at 3:58 AM)
  • “hikes in massachusetts” (really craving my suburban life rn!)
  • “blow up hampster ball for humans to run around in”

We asked some incredibly important questions:

  • “how many blocks is a mile in nyc”
  • “how long are basketball games”
  • “what is skim milk”
  • “names for mouses”
  • “what percentage of men wear briefs vs boxers”
  • “difference between a bar and a club”
  • “why doesn’t my amazon fire tv have the airplay homekit option”
  • “what do you call the thing that serves pie”
  • “what mountains are in alabama”

We consumed very serious media:

  • “murder your employer” (it’s the title of a book, I’m not premeditating something)
  • “paddington 2 streaming” (Hulu btw)
  • “avery cyrus”
  • “new girl best episodes”
  • “wordle”
  • “FabFitFun controversy reddit”
  • searched up the music video for “got me started” by troye sivan at 2 am, watched it, and went back to bed right after
  • “wattpad”

…and also made some media up:

  • “david foster wallace alf essay” (does not exist btw)
  • “was there a hunger games where the lava was rising” (I thought there was)

And, of course, we had a few existential crises:

  • “sparkle on it’s wednesday don’t forget to be yourself”
  • “take risks inspirational quotes”
  • “is a college degree worth it”
  • “how long is a philosophy phd program” (the answer is TOO LONG)

…and decided on some new career paths:

  • “what does a catholic monk do”
  • “how to get on dancing with the stars when not famous”

We love finals and we love research and we love Google. And to everyone who also googled “is a college degree worth it,” Bwog believes in you! You can do it!

Image via the author