It was certainly an attempt!

Senior Staff Writer Lucia Towne, Deputy Sports Editor Katie De La Paz, and Staff Writer Emma Trápaga conquer the most mysterious alternative food to hit Barnumbia dining!

You last heard from Katie and Emma when they reviewed the Milstein Bubble Tea and Sushi Spot where they hoped to embark on their next 2Girls1Snack adventure with their Bwig, Lucia. Well, dreams do come true. We hope you’re ready for the next dining adventure of our Bwineage legacy: pioneering 3Girls1Snack!

In an email from Barnard Dining, we learned that Diana would be introducing açaí bowls for the month of February! Strangely enough, they decided that açaí bowls were the perfect late-night food so they’re only available Monday through Thursday from 9 pm to midnight. Except, of course, on Sundays, when for some reason you can get them from noon to 8 pm. We suppose the availability of Diana’s açaí bowls wouldn’t really matter if you value our opinion and dining hall judgments… Without further ado, here is our complete review full of meticulous detail because we are truly doing the lord’s work.

The experience:

We got there at 9 pm on the dot. I think on a certain level we were expecting the açaí buzz to create a huge line. That wasn’t the case.

Actually, when we arrived, there didn’t seem to even be any açaí bowls for sale. We rechecked the email and we definitely had the days and times right, but the signs were advertising the usual late-night dining menu. There seemed to be everything but açaí bowls. We ended up asking about the açaí bowls and a dining hall employee came over and started making them for us at the usual smoothie station. The line consisted of the three of us, as well as one girl behind us who was also confused about whether the açaí bowls truly existed or not.

So while the lack of advertisement and knowledge surrounding the açaí bowls scared us a little bit, we were able to continue on our quest to review this for you after all!

Deputy Sports Editor Katie De La Paz getting in the mood for Açaí while waiting in line

After we got our açaí bowls, we ran into some issues with paying. Something that is pretty notable is that you can’t currently use a meal swipe to pay; you have to use dining points, flex points, or your card. The dining hall employee told us that they’re planning on letting you use a meal swipe for açaí bowls in the future, so if you’re running low on points (already? It’s February!) you might want to wait until a little later in the month.

The not so ugly result!

First thoughts:

  • Lucia (a complete açaí novice): “*confused noises* Is it supposed to taste like that?”
  • Emma (an açaí expert): “No.”

Later into the bowl:

  • Lucia (a complete açaí novice): I feel like it’s mostly just cold. I don’t think that the fruit itself is that bad. It’s just fruit. It definitely tastes better if you mix in the granola, but if you mix everything together then it looks like gruel. You enter the gruel stage. That’s not the ideal stage.
  • Katie (an açaí amateur): I’m a little more used to the bowl being a bit more complete… there’s a solid 2 strawberries in my bowl. Unsliced. The granola is addicting though.
  • Emma (an açaí expert): It keeps melting!!!
“The gruel stage” as coined by Senior Staff Writer Lucia Towne
Staff Writer Emma Trápaga’s excellent oats to açaí ratio (above) compared to a less ideal ratio (below)

As Emma mentioned, another major issue is the rate at which the açaí melts! Maybe that’s an açaí thing, maybe it’s a Diana thing, maybe it’s Maybelline.

Clean plate club!

Perhaps the worst part of the experience was how cold we were. It’s February! And it’s nighttime! Katie had to get chicken tenders to warm her up! Nevertheless, we persisted and joined the Clean Plate Club (Clean Bowl Club?) You’re so proud of us.

Conclusion:

Diana Dining, if you’re reading this, we understand that you have no control over the weather. So yeah, us being cold isn’t on you, but we’d love some more toppings! Maybe some Nutella, blueberries, honey? We’d love to be able to personalize our little bowls a little more. It could be a new trend! Imagine hoards of students posting their Diana Açaí bowl-topping combos on Instagram! We’d write another article; “What Your Choice Of Diana Açaí Bowl Topping Combo Says About You”! It could take Barnumbia by storm! But as of right now, the three toppings aren’t enough to start that trend.

Now, we’re not trying to be haters. I’m sure some people would love Diana’s Açaí more than anything else on earth! But before you dedicate your life to it, maybe try Playa Bowls. Overall, we left feeling a little unsatisfied with this elusive açaí bowl on Diana’s seemingly secret menu.

Images via Authors (Bwog’s Best Bwineage)