Some cling to their major to help supplement their identity, some cling to their “signature scent”, why not combine these two crutches into one? How fun! FYI I am fully qualified for this task.

Back in Melbourne, I was able to land one of the covetable part-time positions at the Gertrude St (voted the second coolest street in the world) Le Labo store in Fitzroy. It was the first in Australia and I was a big fan after frequenting the Nolita and Madison Ave stores in NYC and was thrilled to now be working there as the Aussie offshoot had become a Fitzroy institution—even honorary Melbournian Troye Sivan shopped there (in case you were all wondering he wears Rose 31 same as me, not to brag but we are basically twins).

Anyway, I digress—as part of our vigorous training we had to memorise all the scents and their notes and measurements to mix em up in the “lab” out back. The majority of my job was then to chat with customers and vibe them out and do my very best to match them up to a scent that spoke to their essence. 

Therefore I present to you without further ado an explication using my perfume prowess to match up every Barnard major to their very own signature Le Labo scent as this knowledge will forever be enmeshed in my psyche. Once a Le Labo soul (never sales assistant we only ever were allowed to refer to one another as “souls”), always a Le Labo soul xx.

Okay! To begin with the classic Santal 33. You have most definitely smelt what has been described as the scent of NYC. This stuff is literally everywhere and therefore its natural equivalent at Barnard is the ubiquitous Econ major. They are strong, independent, and have presence. They know what they are and what they want and aren’t afraid of going with what’s popular and proven. Just like Santal. Hey, if it works it works and it’s the bestseller for a reason!

Next up we have my (and Troye’s) personal signature scent (none of you better steal it!!)—Rose 31. Rose 31 contains multitudes. It’s both masculine and feminine. A twist on the classic floral. It can be both soft and strong at the same time and encompasses a range of different seemingly contradictory notes but somehow it just works. Therefore, it screams one of the interdisciplinary majors at Barnard. Namely, Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies majors. They look at things in a novel way and don’t believe in such arbitrary things as genders or labels or the way in which we have to place everything into binaries in society. They play on norms and take pleasure in analysing and subverting them—just like Rose 31 does. It’s not your granny’s rose perfume.

Now on to another of my favourites, Thè Noir 29. This scent is all about meeting your secret lover in the library and discussing obscure authors you both have in common. It is poetic and intoxicating but also totally overpowers any other scents in the room so you know who exactly is wearing it. Therefore it is the English major of scents. Unique, confident but also slightly hard to identify so you would never be able to pick out the notes of it in passing. Just like English majors who have a quiet intelligence to them (I may be a tad biased on this).

Another 13 is most definitely the self-created major option at Barnard. It is the scent that supposedly smells different on each and every wearer making it very much unique from person to person. It is for the free thinkers and non-conformists, hence it is the “design-your-own-major” of Le Labo scents.

Patchouli 24 is the most powerful scent there is at Le Labo. It smells exactly how you think it would, I describe it usually to people as a roaring campfire in a bottle. It is without a doubt the scent for Environmental Science Majors at Barnard. It is for those who want to make an impact and aren’t afraid to take on such a pressing and urgent issue. It makes itself known and thus is perfect for nature lovers who yearn to protect the planet.

Lys 41 is for the Political Science majors at Barnard. It is a mix of white floral bouquets and is a very clean, simple yet fresh scent. Therefore it is for those who want to go into politics and argue their way through life. It is for the straightforward and the direct.

Tonka 25 is most definitely the History major at Barnard. It is a warm scent evoking the smell of tonka beans and envelopes the wearer and sticks throughout the day as it’s pretty lasting. Thus, it is for those who relish looking to the past for answers as it is for analytical deep thinkers who want to really get into an issue. It’s a little more a deep cut in the Le Labo range but the people who buy it are very committed to it just like History majors are to their field. Although I didn’t get as much exposure to this one as my co-worker’s ex used to wear it so we were banned from spraying it in the store…

Lastly, Bergamote 22 is the Computer Science of the group. It’s a familiar scent and doesn’t deviate too much from a typical bergamot. It’s more universal than the rest and a safe bet for someone not as familiar with Le Labo. Therefore it’s perfect for Computer Science majors who are highly logical and wholly unconcerned with frivolous things and just want to throw themselves into coding (or whatever it is they do I am a humanities person to my core hence I am pretty clueless).

Okay, that’s it for now—there are plenty more scents and majors for me to pair them with but none of the other vibes were speaking to me as of yet and it truly is a very delicate process. 

I haven’t even gotten to the city exclusive scents yet…

Header image via Holly