Gearing up for one of the most notable sports games of the year has never been easier than with this guide. Welcome Super Bowl LVIII by making sure you score a touchdown on all the important facts, laughs, and figures to win big come Sunday.

Ah yes. As the weekend appears on the horizon, it becomes every football fan’s favorite time of year—basically Christmas Day for all the brothers, uncles, and dads out there. 

Like clockwork, the bets, predictions, and sea of red, white, and gold will flood Instagram pages and streets come Sunday morning. Throughout cities across the country, people of all ages will prepare to watch the three-time Super Bowl-winning Kansas City Chiefs take on the consistently dominant San Francisco Forty Niners—while also remembering it happens to be Taylor Swift’s thirteenth Chief’s game of the season… but who’s counting.

But this year more than ever, Barnumbia students will be flocking to apartments, dorms, and various sports bars around the Upper West Side to find a refuge to watch this year’s battle unfold. The question is…what do you need to know and what do you need to do to make the most out of this year’s historic match? Allow me to be your resident Super Bowl guide. 

Let’s start at the core—what you really need to know about the competition in this year’s big game. I would say the most important thing to start with is to know who takes charge of the teams, also known as the head coaches. Think of them like the athletes’ version of Columbia’s very own President Minouche Shafik or Barnard’s newest President Laura Rosenbury—the ladies who reign in charge of keeping our school moving smoothly (to the best of their professional ability).

For the Chiefs, legend Andy Reid (think southern Monopoly man) goes head to head with former college Football player and now head coach of the Forty Niners, Kyle Shanahan. Just imagine your childhood recreational soccer coach took the term coach literally and now works at it professionally—that is Kyle. These two men who have the reputation of their teams and the eyes of their investors glaring down from above will put a year’s worth of hard work into the hands of the players on the field—whether they feel confident in them or not. 

And while the plays on the field can also be made by the quarterbacks or assistant coaches, the coaches are the main communicators in charge of moving the team, whether they need to get in the end zone, go back on defense, or decide to kick a field goal. The thing is, even when we students and athletes alike do not like it, the coaches and presidents in charge are usually the ones who know what’s best at the end of the day. 

Yet do not forget who these two men are because I promise they really are shown as much as Taylor Swift (actually…I feel like it could be less now). So make sure if you forget… you never let it go. Don’t wanna have any bad blood there.  

Even behind the scenes, the coaches aren’t the only people in charge. The quarterbacks, most notably Patrick Mahomes and Brock Purdy alike, are going to do the most to try and be the ones to hoist the Vince Lombardi Trophy come the end of their Championship game, choosing whether to run the ball or throw a Hail Mary en route towards the end zone. Because obviously, what is a victory without an absurdly long name for a piece of hardware that gets given to a new person each year? 

Navigating the sea of offensive and defensive players to rack up points on the board can be much like our very own day-to-day life here in college. Never mind calling the plays on the field, we have to call the plays in class and at home…double the pressure, but not nearly as big of a reward. 

Imagine having to make a touchdown each time in class–getting there on time, participating, and doing homework even after a long day. It can be exhausting and to be honest I think we deserve a piece of hardware for consistently winning championships left and right. Maybe even for losing cause losing just sucks.

The thing is, even while trying to follow the rollercoaster of social media and the game at the same time, the best thing you can do is embrace the energy, whether you are a superfan for Kansas or San Francisco, Swiftie or neutral supporter who just wants a good game. I can assure you that most people tuning in can easily consider themselves two out of three of those titles. 

But please do me a favor and order the wings, sing the Usher songs (I stand by the fact he is a good choice for the halftime show), laugh at the overly staged commercials, and celebrate for one day during the gloomy February month, that the world is united by a game of throwing an oddly shaped ball into an end zone. Because in the end, even though the Super Bowl is the ultimate championship for football, we will still play it again next year. 

Patrick Mahomes via The LA Times