Alternatively, this can be played as a bingo in your English lecture. Or a drinking game.

1. Barnard creative writing majors who write shitty poetry for their significant others. 
2. Pre-law English majors.
3. English majors who strangely only care about Freud and psychoanalysis and Lacan.
4. English majors who use the words “duality” and “postmodernism” in every sentence thinking they’re all that.
5. Barnard English majors who realize the requirements are way too white-washed but realize too late and are stuck.
6. CC English majors who talk over Barnard students. Like constantly. 
7. English majors whose favorite books are YA or Colleen Hoover books.
8. English majors who know Colleen Hoover should be canceled.
9. English majors who don’t have any reading comprehension.
10. English majors who just write a string of run-on sentences.
11. English majors who have a celebrity-level obsession with certain English professors. (Prof Lynn and his tote bag collection. Professor Sharpe. Jennie Kassanoff. Peter Platt.)
12. English majors who overuse the semicolon.
13. English majors who overuse the em dash.
14. English majors who want to be a writer but instead are going into journalism or academia.
15. English majors who don’t read the books but still feel empowered to talk SO MUCH.
16. Sally Rooney English majors.
17. English majors who want to go into publishing.
18. English majors who want to be philosophy majors soooooooo bad.
19. English majors who still can’t fucking bring themselves to write their essays.
20. English majors who stan Barnard’s speaking and writing center.
21. English majors who are too excited for Taylor Swift’s new album.
22. English majors who condemn Taylor Swift’s whole discography.
23. English majors who try to sneak in a quote by their celebrity crush at any chance they get.
24. English majors who refuse to accept (or don’t know??) the fanboys acronym from middle school and want to break every compound sentence with “yet” as the coordinating conjunction.
25. English majors who need to go to the writing center with every paper draft because they’re insecure.
26. English majors who should’ve double majored with something else but were too indecisive and now it’s too late.
27. English majors who are concentrating in Film Studies, and visualize any Aristotle text as a screenplay.
28. English majors who cannot differentiate your, you’re, and you are, yet can write a thesis critiquing Thomas Hobbes’ Leviathan.
29. English majors who overuse the phrase, “the juxtaposition of industrialism versus naturalism” when reading poetry by William Butler Yeats.
30. English majors who, ever since they took AP Lang in 11th grade, constantly bring up an author’s ethos, pathos, or logos.

That One CC English Major via Bwog Archives