Rising first-years, we’re talking to you. 

Hey. Hi. No, over here. There you go. It’s me—the void. I’m uh, not sure if you know me. If not, we’ll probably meet soon. I work shifts here at Columbia sometimes, but to be honest, I’m getting tired of it. You see, I work pretty hard at schools like this—piling on hundreds of pages of reading, bringing on that February New York cold, building up as much loneliness as possible in the library rooms that reek the most of BO. This past semester, I’ve been working especially overtime. I want a break for a change.

But in order to give myself a break, I can’t just stop doing my job. It doesn’t work that way. I’ve got to teach you kids the ropes, give you a lay of the land. Warn you of a few things, dare I say. If you go into Columbia blindly, there’s a good chance you’ll get a bit in over your head. Only once you’re prepared can I lay off you a little. 

So I got in contact with—what’s it called? Bwog? Is that B-Wog? B-W…og? Wait, it’s literally pronounced Bwog? Like blog with a w? Oh, okay. Anyways—they got me to compile this newsletter for all you first-years. Tips and tricks and the like, you know. So good old void over here doesn’t come on too strong. Some simple things, like how you need to watch where you’re walking on College Walk and up by Low Library (Low Beach, they call it), or else you’ll trip. Some other things should be easy to understand, but you kids just don’t get it. Like how you don’t need to be taking 17+ credits your first semester, or how this school is, in fact, in New York City, where there are, in fact, things to do apart from sitting in your puny John Jay single all day. 

But these articles are going to be the real stuff, the good stuff. The advice that makes this place sound a lot less scary, and a lot more manageable. Because, little do you know, there have been thousands of people who have stood in your shoes. Many have gotten a bit too voided out here at Columbia—imposter syndrome, seasonal depression, procrastination and ADHD stabbing you in the back. That’s normal, to an extent—we’ve all got to have a little bit of void in us to make us appreciate the sunny days. But the truth is, a lot of that can be diminished—you’ve just got to go in with a game plan. You’ve got to know your weak points, know what brightens you up, know what excites you. 

So—how do you access these articles? Well, a few will come out every week leading up to NSOP (that’s the New Student Orientation Program, if you’ve really been out of the loop). You can read them on Bwog’s website, but let’s be honest, you’ll forget. So we’ve made it easy, compiling a newsletter, conveniently titled “FreshLetter,” to keep you up-to-date with the new articles of each week (as well as some old ones of previous years). Just sign up and you’ll be receiving your first email by Sunday, August 4. It’s that simple! If you have any questions, just email tips@bwog and we’ll get right back to you. 

Also, the higher-ups here at Bwog wanted me to give them a quick little bit of promo. So let’s be quick with it. 

Bwog is something you’ve got to have on your radar. It’s in. It’s cool. It’s brat, they say. It helps get rid of yours truly, give me some vacation time. Why? Because Bwog is fun. 

Wait…but what is Bwog? 

An undergraduate student news publication. Digital. Independently-run. 

And does Bwog only post really, really funny articles written by really, really talented writers? 

Well, all of Bwog’s writers are talented—they got into this school! But, actually, they write about everything. Yes, a lot of the buzz you’ll hear around campus will be about Bwog’s funnier side. But they’re also one of the most prominent student organizations that covers breaking news. Besides that, they do art reviews, events and sports coverage, investigative pieces, interviews, playlists, poetry, creative writing, campus guides, housing tips, and more. The one thing all Bwog’s articles have in common? They cover undergraduate student life at Columbia. 

Does that sound interesting to you? Then join Bwog! They’ll be recruiting new writers, editors, illustrators, and tech team members in September, positions which are all available to new students. They’ll announce open meeting and application information on Instagram, as well as on posters you’ll see all around campus. They’d be so happy to see any of you at their meetings this semester—please get involved, or at the very least, follow them on social media!

Void signing off. 

Image background via Wikimedia Commons