Which Barnumbia dining hall brings the most BOOM?

Recently, the internet has been rocked by a new set of family vloggers: The Costco Guys. A father-son duo, A.J. and Big Justice, started their platform by reviewing Costco food and having that Italian-American vibe that the internet tends to be fascinated with for some reason. As their platform has grown, the duo has introduced many more characters into their public life: Mama Justice, mother of Big Justice, and sister Ashley, Cousin Angelo, The Rizzler (of no relation… he’s a little boy they found on the internet and thought was funny), Jersey Joe, and Jumo. One thing all of these characters have in common? They love to review food and bring the BOOM! So, here are our predictions for what dining hall each of the Costco Guys characters would enjoy most when they (inevitably) visit Columbia:

The Rizzler: JJs

The Rizzler is JJ’s. Because obviously, duh (and also, we KNOW he would eat up Dino Nugget Sundays). 

Mama Justice: Faculty House

A more refined Bring The BOOM squad member, Mama Justice would take a trip to Faculty House for her lunchtime meal. She needs some peace, quiet, and jasmine rice with salmon after a long day of dealing with the Costco Guys. 

A.J.: Fac Shack 

A.J. would love the fast-casual dining option of Fac Shack. The food truck nature of this dining option would allow him to take less time to eat and more time to make content for his millions of fans, all while hitting his (certainly lofty) protein goals. Also, we know he would love the double chocolate chunk cookie that comes with every meal.

Big Justice: Hewitt

Just like every man on this campus, Big Justice would make his Columbia dining debut at Hewitt. He’d head straight for the pizza section to grab the delicious slices of cheese and pepperoni and then beeline to the ice cream machine before it breaks down. A right of passage for all Columbia men is to take up way too much space at this Barnard dining hall, so he would also make sure to put his plates all over one four-top table to ensure he takes up the maximum amount of space.

Ashley: Diana

Everyone knows that she’s the REAL star of this affair… It’s criminal that she didn’t get a feature on Jimmy Fallon. Regardless, we know our queen would fit right in on Barnard’s campus. We think she would love a green smoothie from Diana in the morning before a long day of being the best member in the Costco Guys universe, and maybe even a Diana pizza for lunch later (they are Italian, don’t forget!)

Jumo: Ferris

Jumo is a hot new character in this universe… and to be honest we don’t know much about her. Just like we don’t know much about why Ferris runs the way it does. Why are there only three stations? Why is the middle station so large? Is the food there even edible? Why are there bananas on that pizza? All of these questions will need to be answered by Jumo (and also, who is she again?)

Cousin Angelo: Chef Don’s

In his own words, Cousin Angelo brings the BOOM with “salami, parmesan, and mozzarella.” So, obviously, where else would he go? No one in the Costco Guys universe posts more cheese-related content than this guy… we know Chef Don would make him feel right at home.

Jersey Joe: Chef Mike’s

Another fairly new member of the Costco Guys universe, we just know that Jersey Joe would destroy one of Chef Mike’s meatball subs. One thing about Jersey Joe is that he is always going to hit a questionable dance move, much like every patron of Chef Mike’s has to endure the questionable quality of Chef Mike’s meats.

Costco guys at Columbia edit via The Costco Guys’ TikTok and Bwarchives