AskBwog gives their take on taking the first steps to starting a relationship.

Dear Bwog,

So I have just been feeling super single lately. It’s definitely not the worst problem to have, and I really love my family/friends/most parts of my life. But I’ve spent all of college not in a relationship and hoping to meet someone, and lately I’ve been feeling like there’s just no one out there for me. Maybe I need to put myself out there more and try asking people out, which I never do, and I’m planning to go on Hinge for the first time next semester (when I’m not so busy with classes/internship haha!). And maybe some of my wanting a relationship is also just curiosity/succumbing to peer pressure and media, but I would like the experience of being in a relationship or at least going on a couple of dates and having a slightly more interesting love life than I have had for the last three years, lol. Lately I’ve just been feeling a bit lonely and discouraged because I feel like I’ll never meet someone I like who also likes me, but then I also think it’s a silly thing to worry about and I need to trust the universe more! Would be grateful for any advice—thank you so much!

Love,

Single and Discouraged

Dear Single and Discouraged,

There are many factors that go into finding a relationship, many of which you mentioned yourself—time, curiosity, pressure, and fate. Based on your note, though, it seems like you’re missing the key component of finding someone: talking to people! The idea of a perfect relationship that falls right into our laps when we least expect it is certainly alluring, and something we can all wish for. But until that fairytale moment, start with more realistic baby steps: try asking one person you know from a class, club, or other in-person setting out on a date. While it might not be an immediate bond, that vulnerability is the first step to help you gain confidence and relationship experience, moving towards a better understanding of the type of person you are compatible with. 

Love,

Bwog

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