Country rooooooad

For those of you not hopping on the next plane to Puerto Rico for spring break, there’s no reason to stay locked in Morningside Heights for the next week. In fact, there’s no reason to stay in Manhattan at all. In defense of local attractions, the areas in and immediately around New York are not just wealthy suburbs full of white people (well, there are *more* things than that). If you’ve got a free 9 days and want to remember how to drive, we have some options for you.

If by some strange occurrence you don’t have a friend who lives in the tri-state area and whose car/parents’ car/older sibling’s car you can “borrow,” you can rent a Zip Car for day trips.

Right around the corner:

The Cloisters: The Cloisters, a branch of the Met in Fort Tryon Park, are literally a seven minute drive from Columbia on the Henry Hudson Parkway. The park is beautiful, the buildings are beautiful, the exhibitions are beautiful. Just go.

Arthur Avenue: La Casa della Mozzarella for sure.

Botanical Gardens: For the love of God, go to the Brooklyn location. Spring will also be fucking springing everywhere this time of year. It’s like the Botanical Gardens knew your spring break was right now.

Velocity 17: “The world of indoor fun.” A.k.a laser tag all day every day. There are actually a scary amount of activities here if you feel like heading to Maywood, New Jersey.

Worth the drive:

Clinton Road: This 10 mile long road in New Jersey is the place to go when it’s late at night and you’re high high on life. “The road and the land around it have gained notoriety over the years as an area rife with many legends of paranormal occurrences such as sightings of ghosts, strange creatures and gatherings of witches, Satanists and the Ku Klux Klan. It is also rumored that professional killers dispose of bodies in the surrounding woods.” What could be better?

Kent Falls: About an hour and a half north of the city, Kent is too far away from Westchester for you to hate yourself. If it magically gets warm enough for a bikini (dream big), there’s a gorgeous multi-level waterfall with natural pools where you can actually swim and frolic and feel like Pocahontas.

Breakneck Ridge and Harriman State Park: It’s like COÖP all over again.

New Paltz: Also a pretty solid drive, but it has just about the opposite atmosphere of New York’s. The hipsters are just hippies. There’s one of those quaint little Main Streets that composes 95% of the village. A whole new world.

Just Go Shopping!

Garden State Plaza in Paramus, NJ Woodbury Commons in Central Valley, NY, and Riverside Shopping Center in Hackensack, NJ will all allow you to imagine what your life would be like if you actually lived in these places. Adventurous or just frightening?

And of course, there’s always the strip clubs.

Remember what the color green is? via Wikimedia Commons