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We bet you never think about that copy of Columbia College Today that’s delivered to your parents’  house every so often. You’re missing out on some of the best. things. ever. Below, verbatim-copied class notes from the Fall 2013 edition of the magazine. Our only hope is to grow up to be just like these people.

Jim Berick, who has been doing a lot of exercising lately, recently met with the dean (Valentini, that is) in Florida.

Jonathan [Green] is in touch with President Barack Obama and spoke with him after our 25th reunion. Jonathan reports that Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. ’73, ’76L and the President have discussed the comparative strengths of CC basketball in the ’70s and ’80s.

Henry Aronson says, “Looking forward to beginning pet therapy training with Luna, my 11-year-old Italian greyhound. As a commuter, I didn’t have many close friends among my fellow students, so there was no one to see at the reunion so I didn’t attend.”

Paul Phillips writes, “I pulled an Ivy League hat trick during reunion. That Friday afternoon I left work at Brown, drove down with my family to attend the reunion dinner, then continued on to Princeton where, the following afternoon, we, including my wife, Kathryne Jennings, attended a wonderful production of “Into the Woods.”

James “Huck” Hill says, “My wife, Kristi Pfister Hill ’78 Barnard, and I arrived on campus Friday night […] The CC faithful at Low had a fun-sized group, and at dinner music man Steve Bargonetti gave us a stellar, solo performance on his gorgeous Martin guitar. Steve delivered one killer set after another of jazz, rock, and funk anthems, and we just chilled. Steve ended the night with an epic version of “The Star-Spangled Banner” that electrified and tapped into everybody’s inner Hendrix. As his guitar echoed off the walls of Low, I mused, has anyone else ever rocked this anthem in here before? Perhaps a brush with history, and definitely a great night. Hope to see you all at our four-o in ’18.”

Richard Goldwater (ne Goldwasser) writes, “I left Columbia in 1963 feeling like a miserable failure academically and intellectually, and feeling deeply the loss of friendships for which there was no longer a supporting context.

“LSD use during the 1970s helped me to recover or perhaps discover my wits, the downside of which was the sense that I had a Columbia education lying dormant within me. Not that I understood anything while I was at Columbia; I knew I was just accumulating impressions and collecting data that I might get back to later. The LSD galvanized all that, obligating me to reanimate the investment in my brain that medical school had mummified. A kind of intellectual rebirth occurred during my psychiatry residency (what else could I do, go into show business?) when I realized that I could think about Hamlet and King Lear as if they were patients of mine. Suddenly, I was no longer an intimidated dolt but a wise counselor to the severely miffed. I loved practicing what is now the lost art of psychotherapy (done in by Big Pharma and the Profit Motive), but in my spare time when not busy being divorced, I have struggled to accomplish what anybody at Columbia in those days might want to do over a lifetime: come out with a Theory of Everything. After all, if one thinks that one has figured out Hamlet’s mystery, then figuring out the entire universe is the logical next step … ”

Columbia College today photo via their website