No matter if your quarters are nestled deep within the shaft of McBain, or if your pad flies high in the penthouses of EC or Sulz, your bedroom and its contents are sacred. Every technological gizmo, throw pillow, and Scarface poster has been plugged in, consciously tossed, or hung meticulously, with merciless self-disclosure and the core elements of feng-shui in mind.

Bwog doesn’t have the cash to “pimp your room,” and we certainly don’t want to raid it and then date you. So we bring you a new feature, the “Cribs-esque” semi-weekly Thursday Room Hopping, starting with…

Cory and Sean (left to right), a tag-team pair of first-year track and cross-country stars, respectively, delighted in taking Bwog on a tour of their 214 square-foot LLC paradise — complete with subwoofer speaker system, 32-inch high definition flatscreen TV (“That’s money!” says Sean), and wireless router.

“The women flock to 8A11 like the sparrows of Capistrano,” Sean notes.

“Yeah, they say, ‘Oh, your room is so pimp!'” adds Cory, in falsetto.

Visiting members of the opposite sex also swoon over the novelty of their names — reminiscent of TGIFs of the past. “They dig the Boy Meets World thing. We help them connect to their childhoods,” says Sean.

Also connecting these gentlemen to their childhoods (and distracting them from their adult responsibilities) is a library of over 40 DVDs, including a pirated copy of Snakes on a Plane, an X-box 360 with wireless controllers, and a PS2.

“I’m beating Lithuania right now,” Sean said, looking up from his digital soccer tournament.

Also of note in their Hartley-Wallach double are their wall hangings, including Sean’s favorite Britney Spears poster (pre-“not that innocent” phase).

But Bwog’s favorite item in the room, by far, was the space-age fan, shown here being demonstrated by Cory. It not only rotates radially around the room, but spirals up and down, cooling in three dimensions.

“Does that do that while we sleep?” Sean asked excitedly.

Bwog certainly hopes so.

 

Have a tricked-out dorm, or wish to volunteer a friend/foe’s room? E-mail bwgossip@columbia.edu, and we’ll send a correspondent to scrutinize your living space for next week’s edition of room hopping!