18 Comments
Eastern Europeans…They’re Bald!
Read this with a Slavic accent and a mug of vodka. It’s much funnier that way.
Diagram Of How Prezbo Wrote His President’s Statement on Freedom of Speech
Words In This Story: Bwog, Nazi, Kulawik, Controversy, Racist, White Supremacists
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18 Comments
@Anonymous Beautiful, Chas. I am so proud I write for The Fed.
@brilliant, chas just brilliant.
@Ron Lewenberg Michael Bredin’s puerile smear of Mr. Kulawik and CCCC would not merit a response but for the fact that so many Columbia students are brain washed leftists, who believe slander about conservatives.
In 1998, I set out to found a conservative club after the Accuracy in Academia conference was shut down through the collusion of communist outsiders, leftist students, and the Rupp administration. CCCC was founded on a set of ideas,
http://www.columbia.edu/cu/conservative/info.htm , which respects the liberty and dignity of all people regardless of race.
Calling us supporters of the National-Socialist German Workers’ Party is ridiculous on the basis of ideology and morally reprehensible. Of the 10 first members of CCCC, 4 had parents or grandparents who survived in the Holocaust. Both of my grandfathers lost all of their siblings to the Nazis or to the Communists during the war. My father survived a concentration camp. Others in the club have similar stories.
The family of first president of the Columbia Conservative Alumni Association, like millions of other Polish Catholics, suffered similar fates.
As far as I know, the only Nazi-sympathizers on campus are the leftists who invited Norman Finklestien and their Islamist buddies who take onanistic pleasure with the death of Israelis.
Of course, there are open apologists for and supporters of mass murdering communists on campus. How many of them have been called to task for supporting regimes, which have killed over 100 million people?
I can’t think of one. Instead they run or ran departments. They shut down opposition events and are lauded by the BWOG.
@rjt This post is a landmark in media criticism that will endure for years.
@Chas Carey Ron sent that to us via e-mail before posting it here. I sent him this response:
Ron Lewenberg’s blithe unawareness that “The Federalist” (hereafter “The Fed”) is primarily a “satire newspaper” would not merit a response but for the fact that so many people who write to “The Federalist” (hereafter “The Feralist”) are equally blithely unaware of that fact.
In 1986, “The Federalist” (hereafter “Doctor Zhivago’s Home-Brewed Elixir O’ Strength”) was founded by a bunch of people, one of whom is now a Bush-appointed judge to a federal circuit court of appeals. Not that such stories matter in a larger context, but we at “The Federalist” (hereafter “WTF”) believe in placing a tongue firmly in one’s cheek when speaking, regardless of political affiliation or the obvious difficulty that causes in getting a point across to thicker individuals.
In creating “satire,” we obviously have failed to convey our “satirical intentions” in words clear enough for our number-skulled readers to understand. “The Federalist” (hereafter “Pirates Of The Caribbean”) extends its apologies to your knee-jerk reflexes and optometrist – perhaps a slower political trigger finger and a stronger prescription would cause you less embarrassment in the future.
With much regret,
Chas Carey
Managing Editor, “The Federalist”
(Hereafter “fr3e v1@gr@ ponz111 lawl.”)
P.S.: If you’re still upset and would like to air your beliefs and discuss the issues in a serious-but-rather-frank manner, either I or one of my colleagues (possibly ones such as Michael Grinspan, who interviewed the far-left pundit Al Franken) would be happy to interview you to discuss your view on what “conservatism” implies on this campus in an era seemingly free from rational discourse on both sides. Contrary to popular belief, “The Federalist” (hereafter “Millard Fillmore”) likes to publish serious interviews with interesting voices, and the founder of the CCCC would clearly bring an unheard perspective to recent events. While I cannot guarantee space in the next issue (we are rather shockingly popular), I can promise that we will make an effort, which is more than you can say for most filthy rags on this misbegotten campus. Should you prefer a less neutral institution, I highly recommend contacting “The Citadel,” the magazine operated by the Columbia College Republicans.
@this letter in itself has nearly convinced me to go to a fed meeting and see if i can try to write
brilliance
@the part that kills me is the (hereafter:…) thing
@dcp I’m also not going to say that I as offended by the various articles about eastern europeans, but they were all pretty stupid… come on fed, be funny!
@omg initials Ehh… cut the kid a break. Overall the issue was better than usual. Trend up is good, I think, and freshmen writers always improve with time. The B&W has had articles in the past that’ve been too verbose, holier-than-thou and irritating for their own good; the Spec occasionally toots its horn more often than it should for a bureaucratic buncha future-“we-wish-there-was-a-journalism-major-at-our-university”-of-america kids should; and the Fed occasionally runs inane articles that wear out their welcome. The author in question’s a freshman and has a lot of potential and wherewithal – given a chance, he’ll only get better.
Plus, we interviewed (and offended) Al Franken. I mean, c’mon. What more do you want? If the Fed can offend Al Franken, y’all better get ready for the U. Havana-North hoedown, coming soon to a far-left socialist-fascist-anarchist university near you.
@Anonymous No, I’m not going to say I was offended by the Poland article, because it was meant to be humorous. The only problem is, it was neither funny nor interesting.
@rjt To be fair, the grammar may be correct if “kills” is being conjugated for “Bwog”–that is, “Bwog realizes” and “Bwog kills”–rather than the somewhat more intuitive “technologies will allow” and “technologies will kill.”
In response to #3, we are always looking for new writers, and you are strongly encouraged to attend one of our meetings (Sunday 9 PM, Lerner 5 Club Space), or send me an email with a 100-150 word article proposal that I will pass along. The next issue will have no central topic, so feel free to do whatever.
Sorry to hijack this space for propaganda, but I’m not sure how else to respond to anonymous comments.
I’m flattered that anyone knows my Facebook interests.
@Anna Rob is correct about my grammar – kills should be conjugated with Bwog. It is a rather convoluted sentence, though. I will does better next time.
@yes one of his interests is good grammar
@bwog get a hold of yourself – if you’re going to take on Rob Trump then at least conjugate your verbs properly
@fed people if you are reading this…I sense your paper is finally becoming decent. room for more writers?
@mdb Begrudging comments are usually a good confirmation of the general consensus. There’s no doubt about it though: the Fed is back in top form and we’re kicking all sorts of butt. As always, the paper is a forum, and anyone is welcome to submit material.
@fix the left hand column covering up the main content please
@wow. the pres-bo graphic is the best thing I’ve ever seen come out of the fed, maybe since the Jon Voight interview…