An ode and love letter. They could never make us hate you, darling Hewitt.

Each day, without a doubt, I know your shining halls beam with the healthiest, most nutritious foods in all of Columbia. You never let me down, O Hewitt.

I understand why the gym bros love you, crowding around the dining hall with their obnoxiously large backpacks. I understand why the Columbia students swarm across Broadway in pursuit of you. As a gym girl, Hewitt’s bountiful protein options will never let me down with its endless meat options. Sometimes, there’s even steak that tastes surprisingly good–the same steak I have to push through the lines on Ferris event days to get a glimpse of. On the days I have lab at eight in the morning, there are pancakes and fresh scrambled eggs to wake me up, and of course the french vanilla lattes. Even the Delicious Without section always has a yummy salad on hand—even sometimes the rare fresh berry. 

Diana and Chef Mike’s get boring (the burrito bowls are overrated, in my opinion), Fac Shack has virtually no vegetables, and John Jay is way too overstimulating and crowded. Even Ferris can be a hit or miss. But I know I’ll love what you have, dear Hewitt, no matter the day. And I know it’ll always be healthy as an almond mom on the down low.

Your soft-serve machine is the mightiest around—I’ve never tasted ice cream so pure, soft, dainty, and true. Your bite-size, delectable pie is always a treat, and you’ve never failed to deliver a mean corn muffin.

And when I’m cold and hungry in the 30-degree New York weather, I never have to walk more than 6 feet from the Quad to venture into your welcoming embrace. Or when I’m stumbling out of Milstein after a brain-numbing study session, I can rest assured knowing the tunnels will direct me straight to you. You are the dining hall I can be found most frequently at (and I’m sure other Barnard girls will grudgingly admit to this as well). I’m also loving your recent self-serve option.

The Grill station even has hamburgers when I’m feeling unhealthy. Ever since you’ve brought out the latest technologies (the McDonalds-esque online order system), I’ve been transported to a future in which good dining hall food is, in fact, possible. I have you to thank for that, Hewitt.

You have everything. You feed our hungry souls in harmony and bring us together in your Hewitt Haven.

Lovingly, 

Your Admirers Kathleen Yang and Grace Zhang

P. S.

To the haters: Even on the less appetizing days, I know I’m nurturing my body with a balanced meal, which is definitely lacking at some of the other dining halls on campus (looking at you, JJ’s…) #HewittDefender4Lyfe

Love via Bwarchives