XMAS!6, A Mall-y Jolly, XMAS!, was performed twice yesterday in Roone, and was the sixth such annual holiday extravaganza. Senior Arts and Religion critic, Alex Jones, reviews this year’s pre-finals musical relief.
XMAS! aims to be a last little bit of bright, holiday musical cheer before a week of finals-induced misery, XMAS!5 producer Steele Sternberg, CC’13, explained to me before the show. With a small budget, and a short window of rehearsal time, XMAS! faces compromises that larger productions, such as the Varsity Show, do not.
However, XMAS!6 compares favorably to its lavishly supported big brother. Having contributed to the review of V117, I urge this year’s VShow creative team to take a look at XMAS!6 for some inspiration. Though it lacked a polished coherence—some, indeed most, elements fell flat during the performance—there were moments, and characters, which achieved unique and appreciable comedic success.
The opening number, “Celebrate With Us,” immediately demonstrated the robust and lively musical accompaniment. The composers, Nick Parker CC ’14 and Solomon Hoffman CC ’14, crafted catchy and charming melodies. The delightful music was, at moments, more enjoyable than anything happening on stage. Despite such moments, it felt like the rest of XMAS!6 fell into the common student theatre trap of extended musical numbers, which become tiresome and don’t progress the plot. “Celebrate With US”, like many in the show, could be more effective if halved in length.
The central storyline was introduced between the first and second songs. Oh boy! Another love story featuring two awkward, yet well-intentioned, loners—a device that makes red and green seem like a novel Christmas combination. Whenever the show veered back to develop or concentrate on that story, the audience was unengaged, and many checked their phones. It was bad.
Despite disappointment in the storyline, the following second number, “Try Love,” highlighted the vocal talent of Jessica Chi, CC ’15. This was Jessica’s college theatre debut, and it doesn’t take much imagination to see her succeeding in future roles. Her on-stage love interest, played by Emile Barraza, SEAS ’13, was too-often bailed out by Jessica’s clear singing voice and confident stage presence.
As the musical proceeded, the plot was progressed by pretty uninteresting dialogue. Fortunately, the audience’s attention was salvaged by frequent plot twists and surprising turns of events, relieving periodic disengagement due to the formulaic romance. When the unoriginal central love story again took center stage in “The Wrong Way,” Kate, played by Samantha Grecco BC ’13, painfully questioned her professional path in comparison to the gleeful lives of the mall workers surrounding her. Again talent was dragged down by a dull plot device, in what might have been the low point of the evening. Samantha played her part well, but her character was a complete bore.
In contrast, the show was redeemed, if not stolen, by Body Shop Greg and Hot Topic Craig, Sean Walsh CC ’14 and David Offit GS/JTS ’13. The duo played characters whose love story was original, well-developed, and humorously tilted. This is the love story that the audience connected with, appreciated, and showered with laughs and applause. “Man of My Dreams” was both hilarious and emotionally rich, unlike any of the scenes featuring Adam (Sam Mickel CC ’14) and Kate.
For all of the lack innovation in the principal love story, it was clear that many of the show’s biggest laughs came from stock characters, familiar tropes from today’s TV. Can anyone look at Crazy Gertrude, Bella Pori, BC ’15, without instantly recognizing Jillian Belk from Workaholics? Adam, and perhaps the whole mall theme, was almost definitely inspired by Henry Pollard from Party Down, and Patti, Lizzie Logan, CC ’14, was definitely a lifted April Ludgate from Parks and Recreation. I would be very surprised if these relations weren’t intentional, and in the case of Patti and Crazy Gertrude, the show benefited tremendously from the prepackaged comedic styling.
Considering the constraints of producing XMAS!, it’s easy to call the show successful on the whole. The good times about made up for the bad, even if the whole production seemed to run a bit long. Most importably, I enjoyed myself, and certainly won’t begrudge a show that makes gratuitous Justin Bieber references. XMAS!6 hit the mark, and was one of the better student written performances I’ve seen at Columbia.
EDIT: XMAS!6 co-writer Liz Watson assures Bwog that all characters were entirely original, and the product of writers’ and cast members’ imaginations. That being the case, Bwog extends its original compliment further for what were truly entertaining characters. But seriously, people, watch more TV!
59 Comments
@Anonymous I had fun at X-mas! Isn’t that the point? David Offit, Maddie, and Hillary had fantastic timing. Emily Feinstein was the weak link, but that was mostly due to the idiotic writing. Sam Grecco’s voice is wonderful. Overall, the cast was very talented. I want Hillary’s coat.
@Anonymous Completely agree with this…I couldn’t believe Sam Grecco had a lead with so little acting talent, and why would the writers underuse Emily Feinstein in a role that didn’t fit her at all? Sam Mickel, Hillary, and Sean were fantastic throughout. However, I’m not Jewish, and I was almost offended by the way the Jewish characters were written- I was surprised they were in the show. The cast was exceptionally talented overall, and the story was somewhat engaging and amusing, but the music was weak and unmemorable. Still, I had a good time!
@Anonymous There is nothing, but NOTHING, that is better then Alma Mater turning into a pile of cheese sticks.
@Samuel Langhorne Clemens I would like to mention that Bella Pori was a God among insects. Her portrayal of “Crazy Gertrude” was stirring and unearthed emotions I didn’t know I had. To watch her dance was to watch cherubs fly about the halos of saints, and to hear of her bowie knife reminisced of the tales of Homer and Herodotus. I would say Bella Pori’s performance was on par with receiving free Crumbs cupcakes, or the Alma Mater turning into a pile cheese sticks.
@Bella's mother Pile OF cheese sticks, you dipshit. Vermin like you don’t deserve to walk the earth while Bella Pori exists. You sicken me like a pile of decayed cheese sticks.
@Anonymous Was there no one else who was grossly offended by the Ezra character? A hunched-over, jewish sex fiend who wants to destroy the christmas village for the first half of the play? Anyone who is familiar with yiddish would never call a woman who they respect a shiksa-muffin. And then we find out that he magically has large amounts of money that can save christmas? Wow.
@Anonymous Agree! The jewish stereotypes were tired, cliche, and borderline offensive. Great show in many other ways.
@proud jew nope. not offended in the slightest. ezra was hilarious. racist jokes are the fucking best. the more fun you can poke at your religion/heritage/race/etc, the more power you can sap from real racism.
@Uhhh Considering Maddie Provo, who played Ezra, is the president of the Yiddish club on campus, I think you might want to reconsider your argument.
@Anonymous http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfvLm7WfRm0
that’s all.
@Anonymous Samantha Grecco was incredible. Her voice is amazing! I hope she performs more on campus before she graduates.
@I miss Ben Russell. I wish he hadn’t graduated. Shows on campus aren’t the same without him.
@Anonymous hasn’t graduated, is just doing a year at BADA. never fear, he’ll be back in the fall!
@help me out Is Hillary Kritt single?
@Yes she is. Go for it!
@Ummm Patti wasn’t channeling April Ludgate, she was channeling Grecia Barboza.
@GASP soo deserved though
@If only we could go back to Xmas 4…
@CC'13 emily feinstein why do you exist ugh
@Anonymous David Offit is AMAZING!!!!!
@Anonymous If only Sean Walsh didn’t have a boyfriend…*sigh*
@Sean Walsh AGH
@Anonymous gotta love the way sean says ‘hot. topic. craig.’
@Anonymous Agree 100%. I was cringing during those long-winded emily monologues.
@um …what does this mean? Emily had almost no lines.
@Anonymous im obsessed with David Offit
@Anonymous David Offit = unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh Craig
@Anonymous Wait, how the hell did Bwog give a great review to Zombie Prom (which was awful squared) and such a scathing review to XMAS (which, I thought, was super enjoyable)?
@Anonymous agreed!! X!MAS was not without its problems, but Zombie Prom? Really, Bwog, really?
@Uhhh Remember how Chris Silverberg was fucking PHENOMENAL? What the hell, Bwog. Give respect where it is majorly owed.
@Yeah but I couldn’t understand what he was saying/singing in either XMAS!6 or VShow…
@Anonymous word
@Anonymous It’s all very well and good to leave a bad review if you didn’t like the show, but accusing its writers of lifting their characters is pretty out of line, Bwog. Particularly when those characters are from obscure television that most people haven’t seen (except Parks & Recreation). This review is more disappointing than the show was.
@Anonymous Sad not to see Emily and Hillary mentioned. They were by far the best part of the show.
@Anonymous I would have liked this comment if it had just been about Hillary Kritt. But Emily Feinstein was nowhere near as awesome as Hilary, who had me CRACKING UP when she did the whole splenda bit. If talking in a baby voice is talent, then call me Bernadette fuckin’ Peters because I can baby talk like a boss.
@Anonymous agree 100%.
@Hmm... I agree with the music part. That was great stuff, much better than the narrative. Frankly, the storyline was borderline racist, sexist, and heterosexist. The whole Santa Claus being female and black thing could’ve been interesting but instead didn’t make any sense, as nothing in the dialogue or plot had anything to do with it beyond saying, “Holy shit! Black female Santa!” And the idea of the professional Kate folding to mall-elf Adam who hates his job, again, COULD’VE BEEN an interesting but instead seemed like a typical woman-falls-for-and-relies-on-heroic-man trope. And, finally, Greg & Craig served no purpose other than to be token gay characters who thought about nothing other than being with one another. Sure, they were funny, and Sean & David played their parts wonderfully, but the fact that they had no interesting roles in the main plot AND never kissed (while Sam’s Adam and Samantha’s Kate did) was a huge letdown, especially because their chemistry was so much greater than that of the “main” heterosexual couple. XMAS!6 succumbed to heteronormativity in a very real and disappointing way, and it seemed just as stock/non-progressive in other arenas as well.
@AGREE AGREE AGREE AGREE. David and Sean were hysterical, and definitely a highlight of the show. But I couldn’t believe they didn’t kiss, when the other couple made out at a moment’s notice with absolutely no chemistry at all.
@Anonymous David wasn’t comfortable with kissing a boy onstage, and the team didn’t want to force him to do something he wasn’t comfortable with – that’s the only reason that they didn’t kiss.
@I figured that was what was up. Still disappointed though.
@Composer Correction Nick Parker CC’14 composed with Solomon. Wasn’t a one man job…
@Anonymous this was definitely the worst xmas of the past 4 years. the only redeemable qualities were sean walsh, david offit, hillary kritt and emily feinstein
@Truth Agreed. Hkritt and Emily were great as were Sean and David. Everyone else, while talented, was just screwed over by terrible writing and a down-right boring plot.
Music was also good. Excited to see what Solomon will do in Veesh.
@disagree XMAS! 5 was far worse.
@Anonymous agreed.
@David Offit is a rockstar
@CC'13 refreshing to read an honest review. some was good, some was bad, sounds about right.
@anon who wrote it this year?
@Anonymous jack walden and liz watson
@aka Liz Watson and Liz Watson alone
@Liz Watson That’s not cool.
@Anonymous Ok, I don’t know what the fuck a “Workaholics” is, but you do realize that those characters you insist XMAS is copying are all based on stock types, right?
@SO SICK Of Bwog ripping shows apart and then at the end tacking on shit like “XMAS!6 hit the mark, and was one of the better student written performances I’ve seen at Columbia.”
If you’re going to hate, hate with pride. Don’t pussyfoot around.
@Anonymous I think that line is more of an insult to student written theatre, and less a statement of commendation for XMAS!6
@One addendum The single best thing in this performance was the “Ezra” character.
@Anonymous While maybe not the most interesting part, Maddie Provo was by far the best actor on stage.
@Sean Walsh's #1 Fan MADDIE PROVO (along with SEAN!!!, David, and Hillary) SAVED THIS SHOW. HOW DARE YOU NEGLECT TO MENTION HER????. Anyway, those four people I just mentioned had unbelievable stage presence and they freakin’ WERQ’d.
XMAS!6 wasn’t as good as 4, but it wasn’t as horrendously awful as 5. It could have been realllllly good if the sound system had been working better. I couldn’t understand a word Chris Silverberg was saying (although that might have more to do with the weird accent he was trying to pull off rather than his mic). I felt such sadness that Hillary’s mic was so scratchy because she had some hilarious lines that were lost.
Props to the composers- really well written music. Sam Grecco’s voice is beeeeautiful, but alas, she has ZERO stage presence and no acting chops whatsoever.
I’m ready to see Sean have a lead role. He is one of the most talented guys here. VShow is sure to be a real treat!
@HIGHLY disagree about Sam Grecco. She is a stunning actress with an amazing, effortless stage presence!
@jj7 EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS COMMENT IS SPOT. ON. thank you. you should write reviews for bwog.
most of the people in the show had either nice voices and no acting, or good acting but weak voices. only hillary, sean, maddie, and david had strong acting, strong voices, and killer stage presence. they carried the show—the energy rose in the room as soon as they stepped on stage.