As the senior class heads out into the real world, Bwog traditionally delays them a few minutes to get their final thoughts on their time at Columbia, and their advice to their successors. So we proudly present the first installment of a many-part series profiling the Class of 2009. You can follow the rest here.


Name, School: Mallory Carr, CC



Claim to fame: I’m actually not really sure if being asked to do a Bwog Senior Wisdom counts as fame. Either way, 2-year RA, URC, MRC, CCSC, DDC, lots of acronyms. I was also known as “that girl on crutches” during first semester, freshman year.

Post-grad plans: Teach for America – HS Special Education in South Central LA. And then after that, I’m really going to try and save the world.

Favorite study spot: Social Work library. It’s a hike but I swear everyone is happy there.

What are three things you learned at Columbia?

1. The underrepresented majors are actually way more fun- our professors know us, we have wine & cheese parties, and are generally much happier and less competitive.

2. There are 2 ways to anger a Columbia student- run out of their size of a free t-shirt at an event you’re running, or run out of their favorite type of free food at an event you’re running. Either way, don’t run out of free things at your events.

3. The more times you call HAPPY and get increasingly angry, the faster your maintenance request will be filled. Even better if you can get an angry parent to call on your behalf.

Justify your existence in 30 words or less.

If I have blank space in my planners and nothing to do, I really do start feeling sick. Then I join another group. And yes, I have multiple planners.

What was your favorite controversy in your time at Columbia?

Hunger strike, definitely. I still don’t understand how the Major Cultures requirement could make me want to starve myself to death. There are worst things in the world and I still can’t see myself starving for many of them, let alone for the Core.

Any battle wounds/war stories from the War on Fun?

I’m an RA… but I did hear a loud party in Carman once and when I went to break it up, it was actually a birthday party for a large group of Orthodox Jews, complete with cake, ice cream, and Pride and Prejudice (the one with Colin Firth). After a slice of cake, I allowed them to continue the festivities. Does that make me the cool RA?

Would you rather permanently give up oral sex or cheese? Yes.

What do you wish you could tell the Class of 2013 before they come here? If you take the 1 train downtown to 96th or somewhere comparably close, and then take the bus back uptown, it counts as a transfer and saves you $2. It took me awhile to figure that out. Also, try to go abroad before you graduate.

Regrets? I went to a football game and decided that it was unnecessary for me to paint my entire face light blue (see picture). Someone else in our group did paint her entire face light blue and won Fan of the Game. I regret not painting my entire face light blue (and also regret never winning Fan of the Game).

In all seriousness, though, that’s my only regret. I’ve had a filling 4 years and wouldn’t change a thing. There are a lot of things that Columbia can improve upon but I’m also incredibly grateful to how much it has given me and taught me, and am really looking forward to becoming a Columbia alumna!