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Even Columbia’s colored condoms couldn’t keep up our ranking
Syrian President Bashar al-Assad is expected to issue a statement regarding a temporary ceasefire. Friday begins the Eid al-Adha holiday, and we can’t blame anyone for wanting a four-day weekend. (CBS)
Confirming our childhood fears of Jaws, an alleged great white shark killed a 39-year-old surfer yesterday. Cue John Williams. (LATimes)
In the fungal meningitis saga, federal authorities are officially launching the criminal investigation of the company connected to the outbreak. (CNN)
Columbia just couldn’t keep it up—its winning sexual health ranking, that is. The 2012 Trojan Sexual Health Report Card sadly placed Columbia in third, behind the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and Brown. (Sacramento Bee)
To recap:
A temporary ceasefire keeps Syria from getting hotter
A Californian man, alas, bitten by a shark in the water!
23 deaths warrant an investigation, surely
By Jove, Columbia’s sexual health peaked a bit too early!
Sexual health via Shutterstock
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3 Comments
@yikes I read that as a ‘our childhood fears of Jews’.
I got so excited I finally got to rant about something, but then no…
bwog sucks.
@I <3 Bwog but please don’t write light-hearted poems about issues so serious/tragic. and no, using the word alas is not enough.
@Robert Frost Tragically-themed and light-hearted poems always fail,
Those written should be thrown into a garbage pail.
They rarely are funny,
And they never make money,
Those who write them shall be stricken by hail.