Two freshmen guys during the BlaZe: “You’re not a real New Yorker until you can use the subways really really well – without a map.” “Actually, you’re not a real New Yorker until someone has peed on you.”

In which Bwog staffer Mark Krotov familiarizes us with the nooks and crannies at Columbia best suited for getting it on. Wearing Butler Goggles When sitting in Butler for eight hours straight has yielded little progress aside from two annotated pages of Confessions and seventeen updates to your Facebook profile, head outside where, chances are, […]

No more CUnity this year. Orientating first-years, who arrived at Columbia a few years too late to have Edward Said tell them that they have in fact been Occidentating all along, instead had BlaZe–a kind of scavenger hunt / color war hybrid–sending them screaming across campuses on both sides of Broadway. Naturally, Bwog was there, […]

Freshman girl on her cell phone: “Okay, so we’re meeting at Tom’s?… where’s Tom’s?” 

If you’re involved with NSOP in any way, you’ve seen Personnel Coordinator Alicia Berenyi, C ’09, marshaling her force of 250 orientation leaders and crew chiefs to orient five times as many first-years. Bwog caught up with Alicia doing her laundry in McBain to chat about hating Lerner, despairing over Excel, and awkwardness. Bwog: So, […]

Registration is just around the corner! Time to think about what you’re actually here for–making that dusty cranial cavity a little less hollow (summer camp ends soon, 2010). A few kids who’ve survived reflect on the Columbia academic experience. Cocktail chatter A C ’05 lady who wished to remain anonymous suggests that your broad cultural […]

Yesterday, Bwog correspondent Addison Anderson brought you a critique of the facebook’s expansive features section. Today, he surveys the book’s real offering: new kids on campus! To those who entertain us with your awkward visages: we salute you. The prize for Coolest Outdoor Picture Background goes to Gabriel Schubiner‘s chain-link fence.  Campus bad boy!   […]

In which frequent Bwog contributor J.J.V Neun expounds on the importance of knowing Columbia’s most magnanimous employees. There will come a time when you just win the beer pong competition at the West End with your old, sketchy friend from high school, and after stumbling back to your John Jay dorm and collapsing into alcoholic […]

Spectator‘s orientation issue hits first-year suite floors today. Welcome back, mainstream media! Bwog missed you.  Spectator Editor-in-Chief imparts sage advice, predicts the future List advocates sex, drinking, plaigiarism, theft, dropping out, skipping class, almost failing Jake Olson fights the good fight How do you like your Spec articles…Spicy or Mild?          

In which Bwog apprises you of news important and not.  Gore? Over. Clinton? Not a chance. But his highness Jeffrey “I’m a rock star” Sachs? Hell yes! This man doesn’t even need to declare a candidacy to run for president–with fans like these, he could end up Commander in Chief by write-in without so much […]

Two freshman boys, feet submerged in an inch of standing water on South Lawn: “Sandals were a bad choice.” “Dude! That is SO the name of the next facebook group we’re making!”

For all you needy first-years that want to get in with your R.A., heed the words of Resident Advisor alumnus Zachary Bendiner. Or be damned!  Ahoy, nubile class of 2010 !   As you endure the harrowing pop of your collegiate cherry, remember that you are never alone. When you are blubbering over your B+ […]

Welcome to Columbia—let the self-recrimination begin! Seriously, if we can posit one common thread throughout a student body that is diverse in just about every conceivable dimension, it is that we all overthink things. Debates between eating dinner at Deluxe or the Heights will take half an hour; whether to major in History or Poli […]

In which Bwog contributor Addison Anderson cracks open the glossy pre-yearbook destined for dust collection on shelves everywhere. For this article to succeed, people to actually open up the 2010 Facebook handed out to every freshman.  So, upperclassmen: steal a copy, and start browsing for hot-from-the-neck-up first-years.  I found twenty-six, although my number might be […]

You’ve got to hand it to the Orientation Leaders, who finished a long day of hauling first-years’ junk in the rain with an even longer-feeling and relentlessly peppy assembly tonight. Shouting NSOP…RED HOT ad nauseam after telling a group of freshmen everything there is to know about everything takes more fortitude than Bwog can muster. […]