CUZ THERE AREN’T. ANY. Or in Butler. And no one is gonna let you forget it. Observe: Signs from left to right read: “This Room is in use!,” “DO NOT DISTURB!,” DO NOT TOUCH CHALKBOARD PLEASE,” “OCCUPIED!” and “TAKEN.”

As long as schools like Columbia champion the “sink-or-swim” school of language instruction, you will inevitably come into contact with, whether in fulfilling your requirement or just being intellectually curious, the Language Professor Who Does Not Speak English. This professor can exist in any language department. The idea of this professor is that you are […]

Bwog has hopped, poked, and swiftly skimmed, but now we’re inviting other writers into the Bwog Bubble. We think there’s lots of fantastic campus journalism out there that sometimes slips under the radar. In the spirit of Enlightenment salons from centuries past, we present our newest feature, BwogSalon. Bwog asked the editors of each publication […]

Freshpeople! You tired, you poor, you huddled masses gathering to take the Frontiers final today: we promise, college isn’t always like this. To provide some last-minute assistance, here are some haikus sent by one of your own. If you have other haikus, Frontiers-related or otherwise, leave ’em in the comments. Good luck, friends! Two distributions […]

Black Verizon LG cellphone with slide-out keyboard possibly dropped between 116th station and River Hall. Reward offered. Emailcmd2159@columbia.edu if found.

While working as a professor, the Activist is forced out of his/her/non-gender- specific-pronoun’s natural habitat. Best suited for the front lines of some genre of consciousness-raising event, this experienced and opinionated speaker captures the class with what seems at the time to be an extremely relevant argument against society’s unnecessary gendering of bath products. The Activist Professor sits crisscrossed […]

Another vintage post from our archives for you to contemplate while holed up in the library… With classes completed and a weekend now free to bemoan our misery, Bwoggers weigh in from Butler Cafe/salon: what’s worse, studying for finals or writing papers? Papers Remember: every essay is an open book test. With class notes, a few […]

We’re stuck in Butler too, wishing we were back in elementary school when all we had to do was color in the circles and not calculate their velocities relative to the Sun as they hurtle through space. Holding fast to the spirit of youth, we’ve created a cootie catcher. Now this toy you once used […]

Just not you! A girl on Broadway, to a group of friends: “I was so drunk I put my face on pizza.”

Originally, Bingo was a lottery game called “Il Giuoco del Lotto d’Italia” invented and played in Italy around 1530. Usually, Bingo is a game played by your great aunt. Today, Bingo is a game that will make your procrastination dreams come true. Here’s how to play: sit in Butler. Look at the game board. Scroll […]

Our second installment of Graveyard Shift finds Diana Clarke hanging out with Gamal, late-night/early-morning coffee vendor on 114th Street. Remember: other people stay up late, too. Good luck studying. As students stumble home from Butler in the wee hours, they’re likely to pass a man stocking his coffee cart on 114th and Broadway with fresh […]

The New York Times published a story today that calls last week’s bust of a drug ring involving Columbia students “unremarkable, but for one thing: [the] Ivy League clients.” Below, we highlight some relevant new information that our (full disclaimer!) very own Eliza Shapiro helped report: The original anonymous call to Crime Stoppers that prompted […]