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Because Science Is Never Conclusive!

While we in America celebrate the signing of some yellowed document, physicists around the globe are engaging in a less nationalistic, but equally historic celebration: the elusive Higgs Boson, the “missing piece” in our current understanding of the subatomic world, has been confirmed to five standard deviations of significance. This discovery was made using the […]

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B-School Trains Russian Spies!

Cynthia Murphy, one of the Russian spies who has destroyed everything that is holy (Montclair, New Jersey) attended Columbia B-School, and got her MBA in May, Bloomberg (not the mayor) confirms. That means we all went to school with a SPY! The Kremlin probably has your UNI on file or something. Putin knows that you […]

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As a Professor at this university I would not even bother to reply to this email at all, nor would (read more)
6 Reasons You Should Let Me Into Your Seminar, Oh God Please I’m Begging You
January 21, 2020
As a Prof at this university I would not even bother to reply to this email. (read more)
6 Reasons You Should Let Me Into Your Seminar, Oh God Please I’m Begging You
January 21, 2020
“It is extremely unlikely that a potential mate will want to know how we discover planets around other stars. Unless, (read more)
Call For Opening Remarks
January 21, 2020

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