Mata Hari was also a spy, but she didn't go to Columbia. Photo via Wikimedia Commons

Cynthia Murphy, one of the Russian spies who has destroyed everything that is holy (Montclair, New Jersey) attended Columbia B-School, and got her MBA in May, Bloomberg (not the mayor) confirms. That means we all went to school with a SPY! The Kremlin probably has your UNI on file or something. Putin knows that you got a C in Principles!

In other news, our very own Jake Snider was one of four finalists in the College Battle of the Bands in Las Vegas this weekend. In other other news, the WSJ ranked Columbia the 19th best college at returning on investments. And that’s all for today, folks!

Update: Commenter ‘Russki’ (if that is your real name!) informs us that Columbia has a long tradition of training spies. Observe!

Update, 7/1: So turns out these jokes are kind of true! According to the NYPost (yes, we know) Murphy was instructed by “Moscow Central” to “to strengthen . . . ties w/ classmates on daily basis incl. professors who can help in job search and who will have (or already have) access to secret info.” AAAAAAAAAAAH!

Update 3: If you or anyone you know attended Columbia B-School from 2008-2010, lemme know ASAP!