The four horses of the SSOL apocalypse are on their way! Hurry up and register for that class that you thought you didn’t want to take but turned out to be full of unknown knowledge (or just full of easy homework assignments), as it’s the last day to add courses. Also, if you just don’t get MusicHum, drop it quick, as it is the last day to drop Core classes. Don’t forget that amidst all of this dropping and adding, you still must be registerd for a minimum of 12 points and that today is your last chance to uncover a grade for a course taken Pass/D/Fail.

As you decide how much time to devote to sleeping this semester, keep our high stakes competition in mind!

Vintage SSOL via Wikimedia Commons

 

A tipster has just sent in this picture of a group of chairs outside Artopolis (114th and Amsterdam for you non-crêpe lovers) which, according to a sign taped up behind them, are free for the taking! Sure, it’s no IKEA, but at least they won’t scare the crap out of you like the half-reclining chairs Columbia Housing bestows upon us all. And hey, they’re probably nice and clean from the rain this morning. Supplies appear limited, so what are you waiting for?

In case you want to keep track of all the crazy-entrepreneurial things Columbians are doing, The Next Web reports that Neu Venture Capital has rolled out a new Visualizer which shows the connections between Columbia’s affiliated start up companies. (The Next Web)

As many major countries prepare to return to the polls this year, Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has begun attacks against the U.S.’s foreign policy as part of his campaign platform. Putin claims that the U.S. does not seek allies, but “vassals.” Though he is definitely Russia’s resident badass, these attacks are a bit ironic coming from a man who chose his own successor to the Presidency. (Bloomberg)

Though humanity’s settlement of space has just begun, NASA reminds us just how awesome our home planet is in a new HD version of the famed Blue Marble image of Planet Earth. (HuffPo)

We all know Columbia is the snark-iest Ivy. Penn’s class of 15 seems to think so too, as they appropriated a joke from our homecoming shirt a few years ago. You know, those ones that said Pen 15 on the back? (FAIL Blog)

Teddy Bear Imperialism via Wikimedia Commons

Every week the Columbia Bartending Agency does their best to get you crunk. This week, Lauren Alpert does her best to get you to try something new – but don’t blame her if you end up dancing with the devil on a table at Havana’s.

Daunted by the endless opportunities presented by a fully-stocked bar, many people opt for their regular beverage rather than experimenting with a new order. To each their own, in imbibement as in lifestyle choices; my own, however, is to strive for adventure. This week’s drink is a prime example of how a shaker set and a few additions to your liquor collection can allow you to transform a simple classic (the Screwdriver, a roughly 1:4 ratio of vodka and orange juice) into an extraordinary libation: the Red Devil. With almost two drinks worth of liquor, this one is devilishly potent, so you might want to save it for the weekend rather than for pre-gaming Senior Night, especially if you have a 9am Thursday class like me!

Red Devil

Ingredients:
1/2 oz each of:
Vodka
Southern Comfort
Sloe Gin
Amaretto
Triple Sec

plus:
a splash of Rose’s Lime Juice
orange juice to fill (5-6 oz; just eyeball it)

Instructions:
Add all ingredients to a shaker filled 2/3 with ice and shake vigorously.
Strain into a highball glass over fresh ice.
Garnish with a lime slice and take pride in your adventurousness!

Liqueur lesson of the week: Sloe Gin, confusingly, is not actually related to gin at all, but rather is a sweet red liqueur flavored with berries of the blackthorn (a.k.a. sloe) plant, a relative of the plum.

Public Safety has informed us that several new stores in the Morningside Heights area have been added as Safe Havens. As you may know, Safe Havens are essentially places to run when you feel like you are in trouble—this means the business owners have agreed to provide shelter and safety to students in danger while they notify the proper authorities. Look for the red lion decal to identify them, and never hesitate to duck inside one if you feel threatened out on the street.

Image via Public Safety

Find the full list of new locations below

Our faithful friends at Red Bull have created a “Strength of Schedule” contest to find the Columbia student with the busiest schedule. But since we at Bwog know that all Columbians are truly just slackers at heart, we invite you to participate in our version: the Lightness of Load competition.

Do YOU think you have the lightest schedule on campus?!? Let’s find out…

Let us know how you schedule your time this semester—in what classes do you sneak in naptime, on what projects do you let your group members take the lead, with what pick-up ultimate frisbee team do you practice, and which Netflix shows do you follow religously?? Did you see a movie this week? Did it come out in theaters in the ’90s? Were you wearing sweatpants in bed when you watched? Does the bouncer at Mel’s give you a high five when you walk in? Have you ever left your 1020 tab open for more than a week?

Post your schedules, links, videos, anything that provides us a better understanding of lazy and relaxed you really are… if you can muster up the strength to type the words!

Winner miiiiight get one free Dream Water from Duane Reade if Bwog has enough energy to get out of bed.

We have to admit, we thought the following sign was a lark—until we located its very real course listing:

To its credit, said course listing (“IGNORANCE: What we don’t know. Seniors only; must have completed CORE science requirements.”) does pose a bevy of uncertainties. For one, shouldn’t this information be part of the midterm?

After yesterday’s discovery of Brogan’s new security system, a tipster revealed that this is a spreading epidemic, as evidenced here on College Walk. Be on the lookout for more appearances as Bwog will continue to investigate this symbol of the American Dream. Beware: the eyes of Dr. T.J. Eckleburg are ever watchful, especially while you’re stumbling to that EC party your friend’s friend’s friend kind of mentioned.

Make a feast for the Chinese New Year, Superbowl, and Valentine’s Day (sorry to bring it up…) at the Greenmarket, set up every Thursday and Sunday from 114th-116-th on Broadway. Look out for these highlights. 

• Xin Nián Kuài Lè! Check out the info table from 12-1 for an interactive and delivious Chinese hot pot cooking demo to celebrate the New Year
• Newcomer Brian Gajeski is coming on Thursday from Long Island with field, greenhouse, and storage veggies
• Head to class a little early on Thursday to grab some creamy Ronnybrook milk and dairy products including Creamline Yogurt similar to trendy Greek yogurts – but made from local, grass-fed, happy cows
• Stop by Samascott’s for apples and ask about their recent New Year’s Eve climb to the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro!

Credit! Debit! EBT!

The Columbia Republicans are considering bringing Minuteman founder Jim Gilchrist back to campus to promote free speech. We can’t help but wonder if they learned nothing from last time he was here. Well, it has been a while since we had a nationally-covered protest in this city… (Spec)

Oh wait except for that whole Occupy Wall Street business. Reporters Without Borders released their latest Press Freedom Index – a ranking of countries by how journalism-friendly they are – and the US has dropped 27 places due mainly to the arrests of journalists at Occupy protests. But we still beat North Korea! (Reporters Without Borders, Gothamist)

Following a student field trip to Death Valley led by Nicholas Christie-Blick (Frontiers in action!), a research team at the Columbia University Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory discovered that a volcano in the valley is younger than initially thought and will likely erupt soon-ish. It last erupted in 1200 and has an eruption cycle of 1000 years or less. Ruh-roh. (Daily Mail)

In an attempt to take this year’s title of most controversial frat scene, a tempest is brewing up in Hanover. A former Dartmouth student and SAE brother wrote an article listing some truly horrific things he had to do during rush. Bwog couldn’t read past the first quote, but we’re sure there’s going to be some problems with the administration. (IvyGate)

In lighter news, Scooter Hollis, All-State second team QB from Kentucky, has committed to Columbia. Meanwhile, Chad Ochocinco of the Patriots discovers politics. (Courier Journal, Politico)

Something blue via Wikimedia Commons

Thinking of hitting JJ’s tonight? Bwog’s Head Beverage Inspector Bijan Samareh warns you of the social dangers of late-night smoothie-savoring.

JJ’s Place has its merits.

First and foremost, it’s the only campus dining location where you can witness the Dionysian abandon of that vegan on your floor who only eats hummus and celery and air drunkenly scarf down a double cheeseburger. And there’s something to be said for a venue in which it’s appropriate to pass out into a plate of curly fries around 1 am, amidst sweat, screaming, and barbeque sauce.

We only wish that this Korova Milk Bar of Columbia Dining would do something about their smoothies. Granted, they’re delicious. But one wonders whether each of the blended drinks has to sound like it’s named after a gaudy perfume scent and/or Rocket Power episode.

Any Columbian who can order “The Velvet” without making it sound like something that takes place in the champagne room of a strip club deserves a medal—as does he who can fight the urge to add “dude” and a fistbump to the end of his request for a “Tropical Crush”.

Read more after the jump.

Last semester, after Early Decision results went out, we checked in on the Class of 2016′s Facebook page. We expected to be, uh, entertained; we were not disappointed. So last week, when Regular Decision stats were announced, we thought maybe that the 2016 Facebook’s page had had time to ferment. Again, we expected something to chuckle at. Indeed, we must hand it to you, 2016. You not only outdid our expectations, you outdid yourselves.

Just moments ago, a tipster divulged that Public Safety has taken covert and highly controversial new surveillance measures. Implanted on the heavily-trafficked inner doors to what our tipster reveals is called “Brogan” (Broadway/Hogan), this new security system monitors all potentially dangerously displays of bro-ing out. These include, but are not limited to, smuggling 30-racks of Natty-light and Costco-sized containers of Creatine into dorm rooms, wearing any combination of sweatpant-sweatshirt to a class or meal, fist pumping, dougie-ing, and speaking loudly about being the “most jacked dude” in Mel’s/Cannon’s the night prior to aforementioned assertion.

Stare into the unblinking abyss, bros. There’s nowhere left to hide.

The holiday season has hit your wallet hard, and now the bills are coming in. Think you can cut down on your spending? Not with everything Morningside Heights has to offer…