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This weekend, Bwog discovered that love is fake and what was the automatic response? Drink away their sorrows. Email us at if you want to share your fun or crazy stories!

the only love I can believe in right now

Bwog Is Drunk As Usual

  • Bought a bunch of nice groceries to cook for dinner. Went to Mel’s instead.
  • Was cut off by my aunt at a family dinner after 3 glasses of wine.
  • Stayed at 1020 until closing time for the first time. Pounded back seven drinks and only paid for three.
  • Was the only sober person on a bus full of drunks.
  • Got drunk and sobered up on Saturday morning, got drunk and sobered up again on Saturday evening, and went to bed before midnight.
  • Drank more Pabst Blue Ribbon than one person should in a weekend.
  • Realized I’m neck-deep in unrequited love.
  • Went to see a star is born on a date but she left 15 minutes before the end, leaving me sobbing alone in the theatre.
    crashed a model un party and funneled their full vodka/chaser supply into red solo cups for betchy solo use.
  • Went to Jungsik for dinner and drinks. Created an elaborate fake backstory about us being grad students who are researching “the sociology of food and drink” when my friend accidentally let something slip to the bartender about us being students at Columbia.
  • Went to my first ever frat party and realized it was not the hype I was expecting.
  • Went to my first Carman “party” with a group of fellow WOC and the people at the party were SHOOK as if they hadn’t seen WOC before.
  • Hung out at 1020 and went to Mel’s after and there was a grand total of 3 people there.
  • Got drunk and hooked up with a sweet 29-year-old German tourist, who’s now back in Germany :(
  • Took care of a drunk friend on a bus coming back from Philadelphia full with fellow drunk bandies.
  • Watched the new episode of American horror story high and believed I was a warlock.

Bwog and Love

  • Shot my shot and failed, and learned that “love” is fake.
  • Went for a romantic walk in Central Park with my girlfriend.
  • Got to spend a lot of time with someone who means a lot to me after weeks of bad scheduling.
  • Found out that Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson have split. Romance is dead indeed. True love isn’t real.
  • made amends with 2 friends!!!
  • Facetimed my dad to talk to my dog.
  • Took a walk around the city to appreciate the daily miracles of life.
  • Hit up old friends and asked how they were doing.
  • Realize my mans who is not my mans lied about the college he goes to.
  • My man followed me back on Instagram. see u single whores never.

Read more after the jump



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a beautiful creation

The weather’s just brisk enough to remind Regan Mies, first-year Bwogger, of fall bonfires and roasting s’mores. She realizes, unfortunately, that it might not be realistic to have an evening bonfire get-together on Butler Lawn, and has instead crafted a recipe for  S’mores Dessert Dip using ingredients gathered strictly from John Jay and Ferris! Share with friends in the warmth of your dorm, or eat it entirely by yourself with a spoon–we’re not judging.

Disclaimer: Make sure you grab your ingredients with a meal swipe—CU Dining offers take-out boxes for you to bring back to your dorm.

This week: S’mores Dessert Dip

Appliances: a microwave


  • 6 packets of cream cheese
  • two John Jay coffee-cups full of mini marshmallows (can be found by the ice cream machine)
  • an almost-coffee-cup of marshmallow fluff
  • a half-coffee-cup of hot fudge (or Nutella, if you’re up to it??)
  • a green take-out box of as many graham crackers as you’d like
  • a pinch of salt

More after the jump



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Trying to keep your grades up like

Sports Editor Abby Rubel interrupts your midterm season to bring you the news from the field(s). 

Men’s Soccer: The Lions (5-4-1, 2-1 Ivy) lost 2-1 against the Princeton Tigers (7-4-1, 2-0-1) on Saturday. Princeton now leads the Ivy League, while Columbia drops to third behind 2-1 Cornell. The Tigers scored both goals in the first 30 minutes. In the second half, Columbia first-year Andrew Stevens knocked the ball in from 15 yards away for the Light Blue’s only goal of the game. Columbia had two opportunities to score in the game’s final minutes but were unable to tie it up. The Lions are currently third in the Ivy League.

Football: Columbia (3-2, 0-2 Ivy) remains winless in the Ivy League after a 13-10 loss against Penn (4-1, 1-1 Ivy) this weekend. Despite the presence of Josh Bean, the Lions struggled to put points on the board. The Light Blue’s defense held the Quakers to just two field goals in the first half. Columbia’s first touchdown came early in the third quarter off of a 21-yard touchdown pass from Bean to junior Kaleb Pitts. Senior Chris Alleyne kicked the extra point to make it 7-6 Columbia. With less than five minutes left in the third, Alleyne kicked a 46-yard field goal to increase Columbia’s lead to four. Penn’s quarterback ran the ball in for a touchdown to make it 13-10 with plenty of time left in the game. Columbia didn’t convert on its next possession, but forced Penn to punt with 2:34 to play. Bean led the Lions swiftly downfield, completing a 43-yard pass to Pitts on fourth-and-18. The Blue and White were threatening to score from the Penn 24, but Bean’s pass was intercepted to end the game.

Volleyball: The Lions (9-8, 3-4 Ivy) lost both their matches 0-3 this weekend. They lost the first two sets against Penn (5-13, 2-5 Ivy) by 7 and 10 points, but battled back in the third, only to lose 25-23 after two consecutive Penn kills. The Light Blue’s matches against Princeton (13-5, 6-1 Ivy), the reigning champion, were even tougher. After hanging in on the first 25-20 set, the Lions couldn’t come back, and dropped the next two sets 25-15 and 25-16. Princeton is now second in the Ivies, behind Yale, while Columbia hangs on in fourth just ahead of Harvard.

Field Hockey: Lost 0-2 at Penn, won 5-4 against Fairfield
Women’s Golf: Lost at Richmond, Columbia’s Qingyi Symba Xu finished in 2nd place as an individual
Women’s Soccer: Lost 0-1 against Princeton

#relatable via



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Order among chaos.

Staff Writer Henry
Golub wrote about Lerner
using six haikus


Time, time, who needs it?
When I schlep up your long ramps
My beating heart aches


Ferris is crowded
Lines last for thirty minutes
A bagel for me


I like nothing more
Than placing my pencil down
And seeing it roll

The ramps are actually lines of poetry.


If I had to choose
Between stairs and many ramps
I’d choose the wrong path


So many doors closed
A gap opens on the left
A crowd blocks the way


O elevators! <3
You are for decoration
And you never work

Lerner One via Wikimedia Commons

Lerner Two via Wikimedia Commons



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the real question is why do SEAS kids get 10 dollars a week when all they do is online problems sets?

Bwogger Nadra Rahman sits in on an unexpectedly short CCSC meeting, bringing you all the printing quota and letter-writing info you desperately seek.

CCSC operated efficiently last night, beginning the night with a brief printing quota Q&A with CUIT representatives. This was followed by a sort of re-enactment of last week’s meeting—at which UndoCU and the Native American Council (NAC) had both appeared to ask for event funding and support. This week, both groups appeared again to further their engagement with CCSC, with better results.

I Got $85 In My Pocket

Three adults (and CUIT leaders) spent a chunk of their Sunday evening in the Satow Room: Gaspare LoDuca, Chief Information Officer and VP for IT; José Santiago, AVP of Client Services; and Scott Miller, Associate Director of Strategic Communications.

A Q&A with the trio was prefaced by International Students Rep Nikola Danev’s recap of the history behind the printing quota changes. Danev stated that the printing system was switched over to a semesterly (from week-by-week) configuration due to a student council initiative last year (true) and that the lower quota came along with that switch. All the changes are to be seen as part of a pilot program, and data will be analyzed at the end of the semester to help shape future printing policy. According to Danev, Columbia still has the highest printing quota of all the Ivies, even with the reductions.

I wonder what they had to say



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I knew it was too good to be true rip

Editor’s note: This article has been updated to accurately reflect Alqesem’s status. Her deportation has been suspended and her appeal will be heard by the Israeli Supreme Court this week. 

Happening in the World: American Lara Alqesem, 22, was barred from entering Israel for being a president of a small chapter of Students for Justice in Palestine at the University of Florida. The Tel Aviv district court rejected her initial appeal, but Israel’s Supreme Court has suspended her deportation and will hear her case this week.

Happening in the US: Whirlwind romance between comedian Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande came to an end this weekend, as the couple broke off their engagement with both parties acknowledging that it simply was not the right time for their relationship to take off. Sources said the two still have love for each other, but things are over romantically.

Happening in NYC: Violence erupted at a male-only far-right event for the Proud Boys at the Metropolitan Republican Club. After a speech by Gavin McInnes, the founder of the Proud Boys, someone began committing vandalism with swords. Three white supremacists were arrested for the crime, including founder McInnes himself. https:

Happening on Campus: There will be a Walk-to-Wellness event at Low Library from 1 to 2 PM, where participants will engage in a free, instructor-led walking program to help them incorporate more physical activity into their workday. Join your colleagues for kick-off walks featuring a group walk, dynamic stretches, and wellness swag!

Overseen/Overheard: “How is the food? Did everything come out instagramable?”


yet another example of failed love via Billboard



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I have often been haunted by the mystery of what is going on with the woman on the left’s interesting “hat”, dominating the blow-up photograph in Lerner 510, feat. Levi. 

I am tired of mulling over it at 3 am every single night and thusly have decided to solve this great enigma. 

(Disclaimer: these are deeply scientific hypotheses backed up with years of academic research in Schapiro) 




Who will take the Iron Throne…we mean the chambers of Congress?

Bucket List represents the intellectual privilege we enjoy as Columbia students. We do our very best to bring to your attention important guest lecturers and special events on campus. Our recommendations for this week are below, and the full list is after the jump. If you notice any events that have been left off the list, or if you have a correction, please let us know in the comments.


Petition for Columbia to cancel midterms so we can go to all the events after the jump.



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we need to make robes happen

Elle Ferguson, a freshman at Barnard and staff writer for Bwog, observes the important stuff.

When you read the title of this article you may have thought to yourself: how did someone think of sorting the quad buildings? My answer to that is: how could someone not sort the quad buildings? There are four buildings, and four Hogwarts houses guys, c’mon. Quite frankly, I’m surprised no one thought of this before. How can I be the first person at Bwog to mention this? I’ve been to the meetings, I’m not the craziest person there. Nonetheless, I take honor in being the first trailblazer in this terrain. I’m sorting these buildings according to my own experiences, so some of you may disagree. If so, write your own article.

  • Sulzberger: Gryffindor
    • Like it’s impossible to not like at least one Gryffindor in the Harry Potter series, everyone has a Sulz babe that they know and love. Whether you met for AC benefits during NSOP and developed a relationship from there, or met before you knew where they lived and discovered their housing situation to be the “cherry on top”, we all have a Sulz love in our lives. And, they’ve got a wild and well-rounded vibe, like all classic Gryffindors.
  • Brooks: Hufflepuff
    • I know one or two people in Brooks who happen to be the sweetest people on the planet. Maybe your Brooks acquaintance isn’t your best friend, but you can’t deny their inner goodness. Having a Brooks person in your life is like having a Hershey’s chocolate bar. You can’t get enough.
  • Reid: Ravenclaw
    • I live in Reid and I once asked someone in my hall if they wanted to study with me. They replied “I’m ok, I think I like, already know everything,” with a casual shrug and then walked away. If that’s not Ravenclaw I don’t know what is.
  • Hewitt: Slytherin
    • I don’t like Hewitt.



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home sweet home

We’re back with Science Fair, Bwog’s weekly curated list of interesting STEM-related talks, symposiums, and events happening on campus. For science and non-science majors alike, our list will bring you events that will satisfy your scientific curiosity for everything from astronomy to zoology, and everything in between.

For anyone, related-majors and non-majors alike:

  • Embodied Cognition and Prosthetics: Are Our Tools Part of Our Bodies?
    Monday, October 15, 4-6pm, Heyman Center for the Humanities (74 Morningside Dr), register at this link
    Event description: “Embodied cognition theorists emphasize the role of the body and the environment in constituting mental processes. By examining how our brains interact with the rest of our bodies and how our entire bodies interact with the environment, we can learn much about human behavior and the human mind.”
  • Seminars on Sex, Gender, and Autism Spectrum Disorder
    Monday, October 15, 6:15-8:30pm, Fayerweather 513, register at the link
    Event description: Using relevant readings from research, this seminar will examine the interplay of sex and gender in how male-female phenotypes of ASD are characterized. Speakers include Rebecca Jordan-Young (Barnard), Chiara Manzini (George Washington University), and Russell D Romeo (Barnard)
  • “Face/Off or On? Face Transplants and the Resistance to Categorization” presented by Sharrona Pearl (UPenn)
    Wednesday, October 17, 6-8pm, Fayerweather 513, more info at the link
    Event description: Both like and not like cosmetic surgery and whole organ transplants, facial allografts have proven difficult to categorize. This talk will show how bioethicists, surgeons, and journalists have conceptualized face transplants as neither and both, and the resulting stakes for each.

Click here for Columbia Astronomy Public Outreach and more!



Ugh, these beauties.

Shoutout to the Morningside CSA for giving me enough radishes to last a lifetime last week and for making me expand my palate! Here’s a recipe to use up the entire vegetable, including the greens. I know radish pasta sounds like something your grandma would force you to eat at a family function but I promise it is delicious.

Garlicky Radish Pasta


Juice and zest of one lemon
Butter (optional!)
3 cloves of garlic
8 radishes and their greens, sliced into little rounds
Parmesan cheese (optional!)
Pasta! Works best with chunky shapes like gigli, orecchiette, or farfalle rather than spaghetti, but go crazy.
Olive oil to taste.

I know you’ve never been more excited to hear about radishes.



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spitting straight fire since 1564

In honor of crisp fall weather finally descending upon us and some lingering thoughts of summer, have this love sonnet Shakespeare himself wrote to Bwog. And come to our open meeting tonight at 9pm in Lerner 510!

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Many hands do take the darling grapes away,
And summer’s fruit hath very sweet a taste:
Sometime too steep the ramp of Lerner inclines,
And often is his perilous climb chagrined;
But always there is Bwog oh beloved Mine,
On time and meeting in the room untrimm’d;
For thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of those pitches thou owest;
For shall Bwog say thou meet’st at 9 (pm) today,
When in Lerner 510 to time thou growest:
So long as minds can pitch or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

Image via Wikimedia



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we are almost at peak fall

Feeling saucy? Love Bwog? Sign up for our weekly newsletter and never look back.

Happening in the World: Migrants in Riace, Italy, a town famous for being immigration-friendly, will be transferred away per order of the Italian government. Mayor Domenico Lucano, long praised for his integration plan, has been placed under house arrest.

Happening in the US: Brian Kemp, Georgia’s Republican nominee for governor this November, has been found to have stalled 53,000 voter applications, most of whom are black and minority voters. He faces Democratic nominee Stacey Abrams next month, who could become the first black woman in the US to be governor.

Happening in NYC: The NYC Handmade Bazaar is today from 10am – 5:30pm! Take a zip downtown for a fair featuring handmade art, clothing, jewelry, food, furniture, and more.

spotted: halloween in full blast at noco

Also! The Morgan Library and Museum is hosting the Monster Masquerade this Thursday, 10/18, from 6-8pm: sketch live models, listen to live music, and try out in the costume contest (it’s free admission with your CUID)!

Happening on campus: Check out “Embodied Cognition and Prosthetics: Are Our Tools Part of Our Bodies?” tomorrow from 4-6pm!



Poem of the Day:

And then the day came,
when the risk
to remain tight
in a bud
was more painful
than the risk
it took
to blossom.

Anais Nin, Risk



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An example of a Coke Freestyle machine, clearly the superlative way to obtain beverages of the better brand.

Social Media Editor Zack Abrams recently realized the inherent tension between Columbia meal halls, which have Coca-Cola products, and Barnard meal halls, which have Pepsi Products. That’s wack, right? 

This isn’t going to be a very long post, I’ve just been recently thinking about how it’s weird that Columbia and Barnard, these terrific twins who flank Broadway, these premier institutions of Manhattan, each represent a different side of that everlasting soda war.

No matter whether you think Coke products are generally better or if you’re wrong, I think we can all agree that Barnard students will never feel welcome at Columbia, and vice versa, unless we can all drink the same drinks in solidarity. If that means Columbia has to give up those shiny Freestyle machines of the future in favor of the outdated, dirty fountains that Barnard enjoys, so be it. It’s worth the price to pay to bring these two communities together.

Diana pizza. JJ’s fries. Hewitt pasta. (Allegedly it’s good, I wouldn’t know, I don’t eat at Hewitt) Each campus has so much to offer in the food arena. But it would help if it didn’t feel like crossing no-man’s-land every time I filled up my Diana cup with that godawful chemical concoction masquerading itself as “Cherry Pepsi.” It’s worth it for the pizza, but, c’mon.

Barnard students: lay down your fountains, join the future. Or, like, you don’t have to casually worship a capitalist behemoth you can just ask the dining halls nicely to change to Coke products. Can we have a referendum on that? I’m down for a referendum.

Coca-Cola Curves via Flickr




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Homer’s Declassified School Survival Guide

Sometimes it’s nice to pretend that we can get some life-applicable skills out of our Core readings. Guest writer Olivia Grinberg-Phillips has collected some Homeric takeaways she thinks everyone ought to know.

Although most of us are knee-deep in midterms, in reality, the Fall and Thanksgiving breaks are just around the corner (a very exciting and spooky corner at that). It’s during those breaks that many of us will go home to our eagerly waiting families. Once there, we will relax, dine, recuperate, and inevitably have to answer that dreaded question: “So what did you learn at school?” Now, despite the fact that we attend a world-class, Ivy League institution, it’s understandable that our minds will most likely draw a painful blank– causing one family member to bitch about the cost of Columbia, while a cantankerous grandparent rants about how “back in my day, we gave a damn about our education…”

So, unless starting family quibbles is your cup of tea (or some bourgeois, seasonal Starbucks drink), I’ve put together a list of 5 life lessons from Homer’s Odyssey that not only should every college freshman be aware of, but that will also make excellent, Lit Hum-sourced answers to the question “What did you learn at Columbia?”

Tell me, Muse, of the advice of many ways

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