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Dec

14

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Is everyone OK with strawberry milk?!?!??!?!??!?!??!?!

Hello 4am-ers!!!! Are you ready for your fall 2018 Orgo Night script? :D (scroll to page 6 for a good time)

 

Orgo Night Script Fall 2018 by Bwog on Scribd

 

the real answer key via Amara Bagel Banks

Dec

13

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Meet my Scottish Fold, Ollie. Ollie and Livvy – get it?

I’m literally writing this after picking up my emotional support cat, Ollie, from his lavender infused aromatherapy bath in midtown. Running backwards and forwards between the pet shop, groomers, and campus has been much more exhausting than I previously thought.

A lot of people (and when I say a lot I mean A LOT) constantly come into my room and ask to spend time with the cat. The visit is followed up with “I’m really interested in getting an ESA – what’s the procedure?”

Here is a handy crib sheet on everything I’ve learnt, and everything I wish I knew earlier, from having my Scottish Fold Ollie.

(more…)

Dec

13

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…And they’re off. Swag I guess

Here we go, folks. Not only is today Taylor Swift’s 29th birthday, it’s also the day that applicants who chose to bind their souls to our school— that is, those who applied Early Decision— will find out if their deals with the devil were successful. Early Decision applicants to Columbia College and SEAS (or, as a frosh might so quaintly call it, “The Fu Foundation School of Engineering and Applied Science”) will be able to view their results at 7:00 pm EST today. For those of y’all who struggle with timezone conversions, go to this website and figure it out.

Your_hopes_and_dreams.jpg

This year, Undergraduate Admissions “received 4,461 Early Decision applicants to Columbia College and the Fu Foundation School of Engineering and Applied Science.” This represents a 9.2% increase over last year’s pool of 4,085 applicants; furthermore, since 2016’s pool of 4,086 was the largest ever at that time, this year now represents the largest applicant pool in Columbia history. Zoinks!

At this time, it doesn’t look like the Admissions Department is releasing any stats on acceptance rate or class composition. We’ll have to wait and see what the class of 2023 looks like. Good luck to all applicants— we’re rooting for you!

Nerdmobile via Leo Bevilacqua
Domus maximus via Bwog Archives

Dec

13

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All of us when we’ve been freed

Bwogger Sarah Braner wants you to know that we’re all gonna be alright.

Dear person about to go through finals,

For one of our final Bwog Loves before, well, finals, Bwog would like you to know that we love you. We here at Bwog think you are amazing. I promise we will all be okay. I promise that no matter how your tests and essays go, the world is not going to end, College Walk will still be beautiful all lit up at night, and JJ’s will still be there to welcome you home.

We’re so close, my friends. Only a little less than a week and a half (at most!), and then we will be released to actually enjoy ourselves for a while. Just think of how amazing it will feel to be done! Just think of how amazing sleep will be! Think of how amazing it will be to read a book… FOR FUN!

So study hard, remember to take care of yourself, support your friends, and know that the end is in sight. We’re so close. You can do it, and we all believe in you!

Love,

Bwog <3

Soon, my love via Bwog Archives

Dec

13

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Is this a picture of Orgo Night or Midnight Breakfast? You decide.

Tonight is probably the night with the highest ratio of events that tour guides mention to the number of hours in which they occur – both Orgo Night and Midnight Breakfast are tonight!

You’ve (hopefully) seen the posters for Orgo Night at this point, but in case you haven’t, it’ll be at 11:59 pm in Butler! CUMB will be dishing out their hot takes on the semester and playing some music along the way.

The information for the Midnight Breakfast is on the Facebook event, but doors open at 11 pm for Barnard first years, at 11:30 pm for other Barnard students, and at 12 am for Columbia students. Be sure to go get some breakfast because let’s be real, it’ll probably be your only chance for a balanced breakfast until finals are over.

Photo via Bwog Archives

Dec

13

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Legal Pads ft. my upside down notes

Bwogline: Michael Cohen, Trump’s former longtime lawyer, was sentenced to three years in prison yesterday for campaign-finance violations, making false statements to a bank, lying to Congress, and tax evasion. At his sentencing, he said, “I felt it was my duty to cover up his dirty deeds,” referring to Trump. (New York Times)

Study Tip: Write down important information on paper to help you process things. I’m a big fan of legal pads because they seem official but are also incredibly cheap, and it’s easy to tear pages off them.

Music: “Broke” by Samm Henshaw is a fantastic song. It’s not overwhelming, so it won’t distract you from reading the entire CC or LitHum syllabus before tomorrow’s final, but it’ll put you in a good enough mood to momentarily forget how much you have left to get through.

Procrastination Tip: Go into the stacks and pull random books off the shelves with your friends for some entertainment in Butler. The amount of niche content there is pretty consistently amusing. Just be sure to put them back afterward!

Overseen: A split screen between academic-looking PDFs and Bojack Horseman in the IAB library. Finals season is permanent sadboy hours.

legalese via Bwog Staff

Dec

12

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XMAS! is for everyone!

Walking into Roone Auditorium for XMAS!13: The X-Mas! Factor, Bwoggers Abby Rubel and Jordan Merrill could not have predicted the plot of the show in their wildest dreams. Featuring catchy songs, energetic acting, and laugh-out-loud one liners, XMAS!13’s show was both incredibly entertaining and completely strange.

Directed by Sophia Houdaigui (BC ’21), the show follows Emmalena Scrooge, the great-great-grandson of Ebenezer Scrooge played by Talmage Wise (GSAS ’19), and Krampus, a demon from Hell played by Rachel Greenfeld (BC ’19) as they compete on a reality show to be the next Santa Claus.

The show, hosted by Santa’’s daughter Holly (Anna Moskowitz, BC ’19) and judged by Mrs. Claus (Arielle Firestone, GS/JTS ’19) and the cynical Ryan (Kayla Streiber, BC ’21), pits contestants against each other in Christmas-themed challenges like ice skating and toy-building. But the show is rigged! Producers, Shelly (Genevieve Joers, CC ’20) and Bruce (Joel Meyers, CC ’21), are convinced that if the show were to name Krampus the next Santa, ratings will tank and their next show, Naked and Afraid: Hannukah Unhinged, will never make it to air. They are therefore determined to make picture-perfect Emmalena the next Santa.

As the plot unraveled, we got more and more confused. We were happy to accept the initial premise: Santa is retiring, and there’s a reality show to pick his replacement. Ok. But the producers have photoshopped a picture of Holly holding a sign that reads “Christmas is for Santas and Scrooges, not Kevins and Krampus,” with a picture of Kevin McAllister from Home Alone. Apparently, they showed this picture to Santa and he got so mad at Holly that he disowned her and signed over the rights to Christmas™. But he also somehow made her host the reality show to pick his replacement. And he hasn’t talked to her in three weeks, but the show has been going on for eight weeks. (We think.) Plus, the elf who follows Santa around narrating his actions seems pretty smart. Why didn’t she figure it out sooner?

But the good outweighed all that by a lot!

Dec

12

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Not pictured: the massive John Singer Sargent painting.

For the last session of his annual political science lecture, Freedom of Speech and Press, University President Lee Bollinger invites the class over to a cookies-and-cider reception in his immense castle. After watching PrezBo talk civil liberties in class twice a week all semester, Bwoggers Zoe Sottile, Sarah Harty, and Sarah Kinney stopped by the president’s palace to ask him some questions. 

  1. Do you read Bwog?
    1. “Yes, well – people send it to me. And then I read it.”
  2. What are your favorite buildings on Columbia’s campus?
    1. Lenfest Center for the Arts and the Jerome L. Green Science Center up at Manhattanville. (#gentrification)
  3. If you had to pick one finger to keep, which would it be?
    1. “My thumb.”
      1. Which thumb?
        1. “Oh, God. My right thumb.”
  4. What’s your favorite music?
    1. “It’s very private.”
      1. Did you get a Spotify wrapped?
        1. “No, I use Apple Music.”

Blurry image via Bwogstaff.

Dec

12

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this will be for all of you next august :’)

Get ready for those bold, beautiful Barnard 2023 Instagram posts and bios. Barnard’s early decision results for the class of 2023 were released today at 6 PM.

Barnard has seen an increase in early decision applications throughout the past five years. Last year, 993 early decision applications were submitted, which was a 6% increase from those submitted by the class of 2021. This year, a whopping 1235 applications were received, an increase of 24% from last year’s already elevated number. The incoming accepted students are from 35 states and 31 different countries. Seven athletes accepted in the class of 2023 last night are recruited athletes who will play for Columbia sports in the fall of 2019.

did you guys get the eye mask?? is that still a thing??

To any pre-frosh reading this: Congratulations! We cannot wait to see you all come into your own as , as your new (and kind of weird) admissions packets state, “louder, stronger, bolder” people.

Rush Bwog 2019!

Barnard gates photo by Eva Sher

Class of 2023 admissions packets via Barnard Admissions Instagram

Dec

12

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What about a “Fisticuffing” Season theme?

One Bwog Staff Writer, who doesn’t want her parents to know she goes out on Wednesdays, has a problem with Senior Night.

Every week, a mysterious Facebook profile named “Alma Mater,” nickname “Senior Underground” invites seniors to Senior Nights at Amity Hall, a bar at 107 and Amsterdam. Each senior night has a theme: Meme Night, Cuffing Season, 2000s Night, etc. But NO ONE COMMITS TO THE THEME. When I asked my friends what a cuffing season theme looked like, someone said, “It looks like being a hoe but cute.” Isn’t that usually the goal of people who dress up for Senior Night? I initially thought people would wear handcuffs, but only one friend brought a set, and he kept it in his pocket the whole time anyway.

Part of the problem is the vagueness of the themes. What could one possibly wear to represent cuffing season? What sorts of music would be played? Not that matters, because whoever “Alma Mater” is, they’re not coordinating with Amity, which seems to play whatever music they want regardless of theme. So why even have themes at all? What’s the point if no one is going to commit?

I have two requests.

  • To Alma Mater: come up with better themes. It can’t possibly be that hard. We could have a Bar Fight Night, where seniors dress up to represent their favorite campus bar. There’s Drunk Food Night, where seniors dress up to represent their favorite drunk food place. There’s Britney Night, where everyone dresses as their favorite incarnation of Britney Spears. Or Britney from high school. There’s Anonymous Sex Night, because let’s be honest that’s what a lot of you go to Senior Night for anyway; or Fuck Marry Kill Night, which is only for groups of three people.
  • To seniors: fucking commit. I don’t want to be the only person dressed as a frozen margarita on Bar Fight Night.

Or, we could just not have themes and drink ourselves into a stupor Wednesday unencumbered by worries that our outfit is somehow not 2000s enough.

Photo via Bwog Archives

Dec

12

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c’mon santa baby ;) would you look at those

Regan Mies, first-year Bwogger, knows we all need something to lift our spirits during finals, and she has just the thing: Holiday Rice Krispie Treats using ingredients gathered strictly from John Jay and Ferris! If you’re feeling sad, desperate, and defeated, why not give them a try? There’s nothing better to help you ace that Orgo final than a sweet and crispy snack.

Disclaimer: Make sure you grab your ingredients with a meal swipe—CU Dining offers take-out boxes for you to bring back to your dorm.

This week: Holiday Rice Krispie Treats

Appliances: a microwave!

Ingredients:

  • 2-ish not-quite-full John Jay cups of Rice Krispies
  • a good old scoop of M&Ms
  • a big old cup of marshmallow fluff
  • an optional handful of mini marshmallows
  • 3 butter pats
  • some of those random cinnamon Santa gummies that are out and about for the holidays! Yum!

Find the recipe after the jump!

Dec

12

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According to a statement given to Bwog early Wednesday morning, Barnard College has banned Julian von Abele CC ‘21, the student who went on a racist tirade in front of Butler Library early Sunday morning, from its campus.

In its statement, Barnard affirmed that this decision originates from the fact that several of the individuals of color he harassed were Barnard students. Barnard described receiving several “reports of race-related harassment and discrimination complaints based on his actions, which included targeting students because of their race and following them around Columbia’s campus.” Given Barnard’s commitment to inclusion and championing of inclusion, the statement maintained that banning Julian von Abele was a “direct response” to the incident.

For reference, Barnard’s statement has been included in full at the end of this post.

This news follows several responses issued in wake of the incident, from student groups, administrative offices, and von Abele himself. Columbia’s Black Student Organization (BSO) released its statement regarding the incident Tuesday night, painting von Abele as an individual with a “history of targeting students of color with confrontational behavior while intoxicated.” BSO also pointed towards Columbia’s Core Curriculum, based upon the “ideology of Western imperialism,” as well as last year’s controversial invitation of white supremacists to Columbia’s campus, as partial causes of the incident.

In von Abele’s own statement to the Daily Beast on Tuesday night, he denied being “a white supremacist or racist” or causing any physical or verbal harm to the other students, saying that “at no time did I shove, grab, or physically or verbally assault anyone.” Von Abele’s description of the events, his first public statement since the incident, contradicts witness testimonies and video evidence of the incident released by NowThis.

Indeed, multiple anonymous students involved in the incident have come forward to Bwog, stating that von Abele grabbed one student at the beginning of the confrontation and attempted to do so again later. At around a minute and a half into the video footage provided by NowThis, a student can be heard yelling, “Don’t touch me!” as von Abele appears to attempt to make physical contact. Von Abele additionally claimed that he interacted only with one group of students that night, and that his remarks were part of a conversation with other students beginning “when several students were accusing Trump supporters of encouraging sexual violence.” In contrast, anonymous witnesses have also shared that von Abele in fact initiated these argumentative interactions with three separate groups of students and followed students of color to JJ’s place afterwards.

(more…)

Dec

12

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this baby is doing a better job studying than i am

Bwoglines: Children are returning to school this week in Anchorage, Alaska following the 7.0 magnitude earthquake that hit the city on November 3oth. Parents worry about aftershocks as their children return to school, especially considering much of the initial damage still needs repairing. State support for Anchorage schools has decreased in recent years, and the opioid crisis brought families struggling with drug and alcohol abuse to the city and school district. This recent earthquake traumatized already-vulnerable students.

Study Tip: Finish things that actually need to be turned in first. Studying can feel so ~nebulous~ and tedious, so finishing your written assignments first can help you feel a sense of accomplishment and newfound motivation.

Music: If you haven’t heard of Jamie xx or The xx, then you’re missing out. Their music is the perfect blend of mellow and whatever the opposite of mellow is (upbeat?). “Loud Places” by Jamie xx is one of my favorites, but you should just listen to all of their albums.

Procrastination Tip: Walk around every library looking for a seat until you realize you’re hungry from all that walking, at which point you walk to the dining hall and enjoy a social meal for two or so hours. After eating, it’s only natural to take a nap. Before you sleep, though, make sure to catch up on some Netflix to put you in the napping mood.

Overheard: “I’m going to start bringing my own chair to Butler.”

Studious baby photo via Bwog Archives

Dec

11

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And with that, Millie the Dancing Bear says happy finals season!

SGA Rep Council met last night. Well, some of it at least. Barnard Bureau Chief Dassi Karp most certainly was present, though. Check out her recap below!

Remember yesterday? Before reading week began, before the existential dread that comes with finals set in? Before you started guessing every choice you’ve made all semester, analyzing every haphazard scribble you wrote down in the horrendously boring class, and wishing you had spent time actually understanding how to do the pset you halfheartedly googled the solutions to? I know, it feels like forever ago. (Also, who are we kidding, I’ve been having finals for weeks now.) But as yesterday was still a normal day of classes, all the normal Monday of classes things happened including the most anticipated part of all of our evenings–Barnard’s SGA Rep Council meeting!

Not everybody was excited as I was, apparently. Less than two-thirds of Rep Council members were present, meaning there was no quorum, and SGA couldn’t conduct any official votes. On most weeks, that wouldn’t be a problem–SGA rarely votes on much of anything, at least in their external meetings–but last night they had planned to vote on approving endowment fund proposals. Alas, no such voting could be done. I turned to pack away my notebook with glee–I had a pre-studying nap to get to–when it was announced that though no voting could happen, SGA would hear proposal presentations anyway. Video of the presentations will be sent out to all absent members Sigh. But the endowment proposals were all for cool, worthwhile projects. The proposers plan to:

1. Start a free MetroCard pilot program for students with unpaid internships who do not recieve the unpaid internship grant,
2. Purchase mugs, hand-created by a member of the Barnard Clay Collective, to use as a dine-in option at Peet’s to reduce waste,
3. Further support EcoReps’s end of the year Give and Go Green collection and sale, and
4. More funding to stock Barnard’s FLiP library.

If everything goes as normal, most or all of these projects will be funded. So congrats in advance! Keep up the good work!

It has been a weird semester, SGA. Will I be back as a second-semester senior to take notes that nobody reads on what goes down? Eh, probably.

Dec

11

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Staff writer Jordan Merrill is angry.

The girl in this picture is thinking about professors who give midterms on December 10th

I want to make something very clear: I had a M-I-D-T-E-R-M on the last day of classes. It says so right on the syllabus, and it makes me question whether my professor knows what the word “midterm” actually meads. In Latin, “mid” roughly translates to “middle of the” and “term” translates to “fucking semester.” So why is it that this midterm is being held on the absolute LAST day of classes? Was the 3 hour final next week not enough?

I would maybe, possibly understand having a final on the last day of class so as to not have to take an exam after reading week. That’s fair, sort of. While inconvenient for almost every student who probably has, like, homework or a thesis or something going on now, I understand that professors who do this are not trying to crush the souls of every undergraduate they encounter. I’m not sure if I can say the same about my professor, though, who is giving us a final exam not even a week later.

Hear more of the sleep deprived rant!

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