Well, Columbia, we’ve made it through the first weekend with all of us back in town. Did you spend your weekend raging at Beta? Marching through the streets? We’ve got all that and everything in between in today’s field notes. It’s good to be back in New York.
Written by Ross Chapman
Barnard Contingent Faculty, a union for Barnard College faculty in conjunction with United Auto Workers, has announced a strike deadline for four weeks from today.
The union posted on their website earlier today with a statement announcing this decision. It said the union voted in December to “authorize the BCF-UAW Bargaining Committee to call for any action, up to and including a strike, if necessary, to secure a fair contract.” Yet in bargaining sessions, “the administration’s positions on job security, wages, and health benefits fail to improve [adjuncts’] working conditions tangibly.”
As a result of these unproductive bargaining sessions, the Committee set a strike deadline of February 21, two weeks before President Spar departs from Barnard. There will be several more bargaining sessions before this deadline, during which the union hopes to come to an agreement that satisfies their concerns. “We all hope that a strike can be averted, but the administration has left us no choice but to prepare now for this possibility,” the statement reads.
Later in this evening, Provost Linda Bell sent the Barnard community an email in regards to the union’s strike deadline. The Provost seems confident that “progress has been achieved on key economic and non-economic terms, and that even the bargaining committee’s own notice to its members acknowledges this progress.” She wrote that “new ground has been broken” on “mechanisms for appointments and assignments,” as well as other key issues for the Union. The College bargainers believe that “the departments themselves should decide how best to maintain the integrity of the academic program and determine whether and how certain courses will be taught in any given semester,” but have “offered measures that would increase individuals’ employment security in other ways that do not compromise [the College’s] mission.” The email also includes descriptions of those measures. However, Provost Bell seemed defensive in the email, when she cited an instance in which “unilaterally cancelled a bargaining session… only hours before it was to take place” as opposed to College bargainers who attended all sessions “prepared and ready to negotiate in good faith.”
Columbia College students received an email late this afternoon from Dean Valentini mourning the loss of Ezekiel “Zeke” Reiser, who entered CC with the class of 2014. He was the son of adjunct faculty members Nanako Umemoto and Jesse Reiser in the Graduate School of Architecture, Planning, and Preservation (GSAPP). Zeke passed away this weekend at his family’s home in New York.
“I know that many of you are still healing from other recent news,” Dean Valentini wrote. “Each loss we experience takes a toll, and this has been and continues to be an incredibly difficult time for us all.” Resources for students during this time include clinicians from Counseling and Psychological Services ( (212) 854-2878), staff from the Office of the University Chaplain (212-854-1493), advisers in the Berick Center for Student Advising (212-854-6378), and Residential Life staff, including your RAs.
Dean Valentini also forwarded Columbia students a message to the GSAPP faculty from Dean Amale Andraos. This message included information about a memorial service for Zeke, which is planned for 2 pm on Wednesday, January 25th, at the home of Deborah Reiser, 28 South Washington Ave, Dobbs Ferry, NY, 10522.
Written by Betsy Ladyzhets
Have you ever thought about the metaphysical implications of believing New York City bagels are the best bagels on earth? Managing Editor Betsy Ladyzhets has, and her findings are more concerning than they are comforting.
A couple of weeks ago, I got into a discussion on Twitter about New York City bagels. One of my friends from home, whose writing I had been editing, had posted a couple of screenshots of our conversation on her Google Doc, in which she aggravated me by suggesting that the main characters in her story all ate their bagels dry. Her tweet was captioned, “i love knowing exactly how to torment a new yorker.” One of our mutual friends (this one a former New Yorker now living elsewhere in the US) replied in solidarity with me… and, long story short, I ended up agreeing to mail her half a dozen bagels from my favorite bagel place. I purchased the bagels yesterday and am sending them off this afternoon. To say my far-off friend is excited about this development would be like saying the staff at Absolute Bagel are only nice.
Tags: absolute bagel actually has the best bagels though, bag la el, bagel in chief, bagels, i don't know what's real anymore, maybe the bagels are eating me, shit reading this post made me really hungry, what is bread, what's your favorite bagel place in nyc, you gotta go to absolute at 8 pm if you want no lines
Hip hip hooray! While browsing SSOL on a Sunday afternoon, realizing that we’re all f@$!ed because we’ll never get off any of these f%#!ing waitlists, Bwog discovered a little gem. Behold: the final exam schedule.
Looks like the registrar finally decided to do their job this semester! It’s only the second week of classes and the final exam schedule is released! Now you can officially dive into a pool of existential dread months in advance!
You can find the schedule by logging on to SSOL, going to “Exam List” under the “Miscellaneous” tab, and clicking on “Projected University Exam Schedule.” There, you will find a beautiful (albeit a tad confusing) chart explaining the times for all your final exams this May. There’s even a list of exceptions at the bottom! It is truly magnificent!
So, go ahead. Sit down and mark in all your exams in your pretty little polka dot planner with your pretty little colorful pens. That is, of course, until your prof decides to go rogue in mid April and completely fuck up your entire anticipated schedule.
Photo of crazy woman pointing a gun at her laptop (because same) via Dreamstime.
Tags: can't believe I have to start stressing about this now, crazy woman pointing a gun at her laptop because same, finals, hip hip hooray, like seriously who the hell thought hmmmm let's get a pic of this lady pointing a GUN at her LAPTOP, prof gone rogue, thnx registrar for finally doing your job
STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING!
JJ’S IS DEAD!
Well, for now. This morning, the Columbia Dining Facebook page posted a sad sad photo of a sad sad tomato telling us that JJ’s Place is temporarily closed.
While Dining never said anything official about the reason behind this horrible disaster, rUm0rS are that the drains in the ground (ya know, for when they mop and shit), have backed up. Which means that who-knows-what has flooded our beloved JJ’s. Again—these are rumors.
Although it’s little consolation, John Jay Dining Hall will now stay open until 1 am until JJ’s is back on it’s feet, with “a modified JJ’s menu.” But we all know it won’t be the same. And so soon after the grand opening of JJ’s Cool Zone…
Check back in for updates regarding this urgent pressing matter. For now, we mourn.
Photo via Columbia Dining.
Happy first Monday of the semester, Columbia! It’s time to rise and shine! As I’m sure you all know by know, Bwog has revamped our Bwoglines. They’re, like, super freaking cool now. Check ’em out.
Happening in the World: Building off of yesterday’s Bwoglines… According to White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, President Trump’s inauguration had the largest crowds of any inauguration ever. Sound a little sketch? Not if you’re Kellyanne Conway, counselor to President Trump. To her, that’s just an “alternative fact.” Alternative fact? Are you fucking kidding me? As much as that’s a load of bullshit, I’m not going to lie… next time one of my professors says I have the wrong answer, I have my retort. “My answer wasn’t wrong, Professor. It was just an alternative fact.”
Tags: also known as LIES, alternative facts, and if you dont like what you see then shove it, donald trump smh, fleetwood mac, hey y'all if anyone is actually reading these today is my first day dailying hope you like what you see, live love bwog, monday playlist, my phone autocorrects melania to melanin which is ironic because she's the whitest person in the entire world, they're like super freaking cool now
A few days ago, we received a lengthy tip from a “Randall Owen” allegedly detailing the planning and culmination of a large scale prank on an ignorant EC suite. One of the members of the suite, after his roommate graduated this past semester, conspired with his RA and his impending roommate to create “Randall” under the pretense that “Randall” was actually moving into the suite as a transfer student. As “Randall” relates in his email, the prank involved multiple schemes to slowly convince the suite “that I was a raging asshole.”
After starting with some polite introductions and an explanation that he didn’t have a social media presence, “Randall” began surreptitiously trolling the suite.
If you’re anything like first year Bwogger Sarah Kinney, then you spent your Saturday night in bed feeling less than fantastic. But if there’s one thing worse than being sick, it’s watching everyone else be not-sick. Browsing through your friends’ Snapchat stories brings feelings of “dammit that looks fun;” “oh, they’re just as boring as me;” and everything in between. Here’s a definitive guide to the kinds of snapchat stories you’ll see while spending your Saturday night in bed.
The Frat Party-goers
These snap stories are nearly always videos (and usually start with a good ole’ Carman pregame). Flashing lights, loud music, red solo cups, and endless dancing. Peep the crime watch poster in the Beta basement, the neon ΔΣ letters on the wall. Everyone is drunk. Everyone is screaming. It looks #lit, but also, you couldn’t be more thankful that you’re not there. But wait, who’s that in the background of that video? Your RA? Well, you’ll be damned. Maybe it would have been fun to be there. Nevertheless, you take another sip of tea, grateful you’ll be waking up without a hangover.
Written by Timmy Wu
Do you aspire to be a journalist, reporting on news that resonates with the lives of thousands, quenching the unquenchable thirst of knowledge of the lusty students dwelling in Morningside Heights? Do you wish to become a writer, pouring your heart out and digging into your deepest thoughts, just to have an anonymous Bwog commenter demand you, in solemn imperative, to “suck the biggest, veiniest cock”? Do you imagine an utopian future, where there would be no “ashamed alums” calling you out because your article is “rife with grammatical and spelling mistakes”?
If your answers to all the questions above are affirmative, come to Bwog today at Lerner 505, 7 pm. Spec may have size, but we have love.
For more info, visit the FB event page.
poster via Betsy Ladyzhets
Written by Ross Chapman
Sports Editor and enthusiast, Ross Chapman, shared his insights on men’s basketball game last night. Things may not turned out the way he wished they would be.
In sports jargon, the “goat” of the game is the player who loses the game for their team, usually at the last minute. This is usually an unfair brand – even if one player has a bad night, others have the opportunity to step up, and most games have many potential turning points. The goat, therefore, is usually a knee-jerk reaction to a close ending, and often just a scapegoat instead.
But it was hard not to feel like Luke Petrasek let his team down last night.
Petrasek, Columbia Men’s Basketball’s leader in shooting and three-point shooting, went cold for the whole night in a 67-62 loss to Cornell on Saturday. From beyond the arc, he shot 0-6, which was indicative of Columbia’s troubles shooting in all facets of the game. Columbia took 17 more shots than Cornell, thanks to offensive rebounding and 22 Cornell turnovers, but ended the game with fewer baskets. Not accounting for Freshman Guard Mike Smith, who went off this game, Columbia shot 13-47 (27.7%) and 3-16 (18.8%) from three-point distance.
In a back and forth matchup, it was Petrasek who had the opportunity to tie the game up at 65 in the final moments. After he made a lay-up to make the score 62-65 with 30 seconds remaining, Columbia’s Rodney Hunter stole the ball from Cornell’s Matt Morgan. As the Lions passed the ball around the perimeter , Petrasek was the one who took a shot from the right wing, but it came up short and was rebounded by Cornell. This came mere minutes after Petrasek missed another three that would have given the Lions the lead. Not only did the missed three-pointers account for a possible 18 points, but none of them were rebounded by the offense and turned into second-chance points.
Written by Lexie Lehmann
Bucket List represents the intellectual privilege we enjoy as Columbia students. We do our very best to bring to your attention important guest lecturers and special events on campus. Our recommendations for this week are below, and the full list is after the jump. If you notice any events that have been left off the list, or if you have a correction, please let us know in the comments.
Written by Timmy Wu
Hello dear readers! This semester, Bwog is redesigning Bwoglines, in order to make this feature more relevant to the Columbia student experience. We hope you’ll enjoy our new format!
Happening in the nation: Surprisingly, Donald Trump spent his first presidential day accusing journalists of being “the most dishonest human beings on Earth” as he insists that the media deliberately falsifying the size of the inauguration crowd. Press Secretary of the White House, Sean Spicer put this delusion in words: “This was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration, period — both in person and around the globe.”
Happening in NYC: Yesterday, about 400,000 people showed up at the Women’s March in New York City. The Second Avenue, 42nd street, and the Fifth Avenue were packed with people protesting against the new administration.
Happening on campus: Tomorrow, CU Ballroom will be holding its winter showcase from 10 pm to 11:30 pm. For anyone who is interested in dancing or moving your body parts in general, there will also be a free beginner class on basic foxtrot and samba skills following the showcase.
Today’s Featured Video:
Cannons be gone via Mia Lindheimer
The bitter 2016 election and transition season ended on Friday with the inauguration of Donald J. Trump, marking the start of a new presidential administration. While it may soon be time to start looking ahead to the next four years, and to find ways in which to heal America’s divisions, Columbia students used last night to express their sentiments towards the inauguration in various ways.
Some looked for inspiration from the arts, nature, food, etc:
Some looked to forget:
Some looked to remember the past:
glass of red wine via Wikipedia.org
Written by Finn Klauber
Continuing with our series on underutilized but fully available Columbia libraries, Bwog next spotlights a library tucked away in Schermerhorn—the Geology Library. Though often eclipsed by the artsy and sophisticated Avery Library, the Geology Library proffers a legitimate substitution to the soul sucking lower bowels of Butler and the superficiality of Avery.
Location: 601 Schermerhorn. Accessible library.
Hours: Monday-Thursday, 9 AM to 7 PM. Friday, 9 AM to 5 PM. Saturday-Sunday, 12 PM to 5 PM.
Contact: (212) 854-4713;[email protected]; http://library.columbia.edu/locations/science-engineering/about.html#geology
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