Today is the first day of the semester, and, as is our tradition, Bwog will be posting all your professors’ opening remarks.

Email all the inspiring/hilarious/insane things your professors say to open the class to bwgossip@columbia.edu so that everyone will be as excited and terrified as you are.

Here are the things that were said to open and close last semester’s classes. As always, the standard is Richard Bulliet.