Professors may not inhale, but they sure say irreverent things on the first day of class. Here are a few you sent in. Keep sending the semester’s silliest from your professors and TA’s to tips@bwog.net.

Adam Cannon, Introduction to Computer Science:

“I make these problems hard. If I was teaching at Southeastern Mississippi State, they would be different problems. Or if I was teaching at Cornell.”

“Our goal is for you to make a lot of money, so we can call you up and ask you for it.”

Yogesh Chandrani, CC:

[Apparently completely out of context]: “I smoked a joint. I didn’t inhale.”

Sunil Gulati, Principles of Economics:

Gulati: For example, if you are up at night studying for a test and a guy next door is blasting music loudly, what would you do?
Student: Go to the RA
Gulati: (nodding) Go to the RA. You’re a first year, aren’t you?

Frank Caridi, Intro to Statistics Without Calculus:

“This is STATS W1111 so, if you’re not in the right place right now, it’s time to get off the express train and get on the local.”

Marco Maiuro, The Romans and their Empire:

“Roman history is useless, especially in a world were gross ignorance
is matter of — pride.”

David Vallancourt, Electronic Circuits:

“I apologize on behalf of the University for our idiocy.”

Dan Rubenstein, Computer Networks:

Looking at the syllabus: “Here’s my phone number if you ever need to call. I don’t think a student has ever called me…[pause]…ever.”

Disdainfully pointing at the textbook: “There’s a lot of interviews in this book, kind of cheesy. It’s like ‘Celebrities in Networking’! And the worst part is they didn’t interview me.”

Xavier Vila, Intermediate Spanish II:

“You just used the future subjunctive.  Unfortunately, that tense has been seen in print five times since the death of Cervantes.  I don’t even know if you did it right.”