Claim to fame: I broke my foot last semester while receiving a hug. And, in 2008, I was the first person assassinated in CU Assassins.
Where are you going? Right now I’m writing this on the subway on my way to buy one pound of red wiggler worms for a composting project. If you’re referring to my whereabouts post May 18, then your guess is as good as mine. Maybe I should take this opportunity to offer up my soprano whistling, alphabetizing, and bicycle brake fixing skills. Employers: take note.
Three things you learned at Columbia:
- It is constantly going to seem like you have an unmanageable amount of work. It always gets finished with plenty of time left over for fun.
- Walking around campus listening to headphones is the easiest way to miss out on Columbia life.
- The bathroom in 212 next to the ATM is often running low on toilet paper. Anecdotal evidence suggests the same is true for the men’s restroom (you know who you are). Save your toilet paper intensive activities for somewhere else.
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I can’t dance like this. But I won’t die until I can.
Any war stories from the War on Fun? Junior year, after an Anything But Clothes themed party, my suite incurred a long list of false accusations from our RA on an incident report. At the end of the long disciplinary process, I ended up with a minor punishment and, surprisingly, a nomination to the Judicial Affairs Advisory Board representing “someone who has been through the process.” Later in the year, after Ruggles experienced a string of party shut-downs, my suite may or may not have been one of the 10+ suites that took part in the All-Ruggles Party. I was happy to help that same RA get some exercise running up and down the stairs trying to get a handle on the situation.
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Oral sex. As a native Wisconsinite and self-proclaimed “cheesehead,” I don’t really understand the difficulty of this decision. There is no replacement for cheese.
Any advice for the Class of 2014? Stop and Chat > Wave Hello > Awkward Ignore…
Awkwardly ignoring someone you know is not only super mean but also not worth the effort of pretending to not know them (e.g. fake texting, feigning sudden interest in lawn trimmings). Just smile or say “hi.” 2014, this is perfect for Orientation Week when you make 150 new best friends in one day and you can’t remember someone’s name. [Side note: never be embarrassed to ask someone their name.] The Stop and Chat, however, is by far the superior option. It will help you stay updated with friends that you don’t get to see as often as you like. And, as you are rushing from a lab in Mudd to a meeting in Lerner, the stop and chat will keep you sane / put a smile on your face.
Also, do COOP! Seriously, best decision you’ll ever make.
Any regrets? Splinching myself while apparating. I had to spend 3 weeks at St. Mungo’s – Roosevelt on 114th.