A Squirrel Definitely Not Squirrelling

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Now, we know this is something we don’t normally do, but this situation is too dangerous to ignore.  Theft continues to abound on campus as a slice of pizza was stolen from the garbage outside Low.  Public safety has sent us a picture of the burglar and warns students to stay on the lookout.

how did he even carry it up there

Perp said to be 0'8", brown and grey hair

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  1. Anonymous  

    haha! this is hilarious

  2. Public Safety

    Update 1:50 PM

    Despite the photo, we believe the perpetrator is 0'8'' Black and possibly armed

  3. Sergeant of Police

    When a felon's not engaged in his employment..
    When the enterprising burglar's not a-burglin'

  4. Anonymous  

    ok normally i would write something snarky like "quality news, bwog. quality news." but this is just so fucking FUNNY

  5. Anonymous  

    everyday i'm squirrelin'

  6. starving senior  

    Fuck, that's like 350 calories right there. I could've eaten that pizza.

  7. Ummm

    Why did someone throw out a whole slice of pizza?? That's like $2.75 right there

  8. Anonymous  

    AHAHAHH that's awesome!! Just living the squirrel life...no big deal.

  9. Anonymous

    serious case of the lulz

  10. Anonymous  

    He is the smartest squirrel. An Ivy League squirrel with full score SAT.

  11. Flora  

    Imagine if nuts were that size. Squirrel would be in heaven right now.

  12. PizzaMan  

    I like that the pizza is not even from John Jay, which either means someone bought the piece of pizza and took it there for the squirrel, or the squirrel carried it from a faraway Famiglia trashcan to enjoy it while looking out over the campus scenery. Well done.

  13. really sad that i know this  

    im pretty sure thats a papa johns pizza slice

  14. Anonymous

    Yeah Joseph Swartz!!!!!

  15. Anonymous

    Actually, I saw a squirrel sitting on the edge of a Barnard trash can with a whole apple in its mouth. Wonder if this is the same squirrel.

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