Claim to Fame? At one point, I probably tried to pick a fight with your student group as the Spectator Associate Editor in charge of letters to the editor, or as a member of the Spec Editorial Board, wrote a scathing op-ed totally unrelated to your life. But most proudly, I am one of the founding members of the Tina Fey for 2012 Facebook group. Best fail ever, ladies.
Where are you going? Leaving Broadway for the brave new world of… Amsterdam Avenue. Columbia Law School, so if you’re lucky, maybe you can spot me crying quietly in the corner of the law library on your way to EC for another carefree night of undergraduate bliss.
Three things you learned at Columbia:
- People take subject lines in emails way seriously. I have spent less time on papers than some of my friends have spent on subject lines. Oh, and apparently “best” is the way we are all supposed to sign our emails in college.
- If you look in the right places, there is a lot of money for students to do what they want. Barnard internship and research grants sent me to locations both exotic (a summer in Budapest, where I failed to learn that matching my Eastern European friends shot for shot would end poorly) and not so exotic (National Archives II in College Park, Maryland).
- The 5 S’s of medieval siege warfare: Sapping, starving, stoning, spying, and storming.
“Back in my day…” We had two gym requirements, and students weren’t forced to pay full time fees for part time enrolment. But now we have community, so, thanks Barnard.
Justify your existence in 30 words or less: I heard Meryl Streep at my older sister’s Barnard graduation. I get Obama. Jesus or Blue Ivy Carter will address my little sister’s Barnard graduation in 2015.
Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? Looking back, I most definitely deserved to get CAVAed multiple times but somehow snuck by. God or whatever was looking out for me on Purim and Simchat Torah.
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I’m a connoisseur of all cheesy snacks available in Morningside Heights, so I think I’m going to stick with my tried and true love: Utz sour cream and cheddar potato chips.
Advice for the class of 2016:
- Get a long extension cord for your laptop charger. I have wasted hours of my life searching for an outlet, mostly on the second floor of Diana.
- Just because all of your friends have some sort of leadership title before their name doesn’t mean you have to. However, feel free to use your student-leader friends to get free swag and cut lines—thanks guys!
- You have a lot of work. I have a lot of work. We all have a lot of work. Now stop talking about it.
- This lesson unfortunately took me too long to learn, but people want to be your friend, or at the very least, a casual acquaintance. Your religion, dress code, dietary restrictions, major, school, year, hometown, don’t define you as much as you think they might. You might see yourself as the token Barnard girl/non-major/Orthodox Jew/underclassman, but people will (usually) see you as just a person.
Any regrets? Too many to count. Not taking more diverse classes, not opening myself up to friendships with other students, not seeing more campus shows, letting Morton Williams win, not getting a picture with Sarah Jessica Parker in Liz’s Place, not being Millie. But mostly the Millie one.