All across campus people rejoice at the receipt of emails from sullen professors. Essays are pushed back and classes are cancelled. A dastardly few, however, plan to force students to attend “online seminars” through Courseworks or some such wizardry.
From some of our fav professors:
Lit Hum: I’m holed up in my apartment with my research, your midterms, and a slow-cooker full of vegetarian chili, and I’m more than willing to write emails back and forth to you
Julie Crawford: Classes are indeed canceled. Papers however can be delivered to a safe house upstate. Just kidding.
Dean Awn: As you may or may not know, New York is paralyzed by any kind of vaguely extreme weather event. That kind of weather is supposed to occur only in Oklahoma, which, in some sense, deserves it. Yes, New Yorkers are wimps; yes we are pathetic, arrogant blowhards…but we are always very trendy, which is much more important.
Creative Writing Department: The weather outside is supposed to be frightful / I hope where you are is delightful
Puccini & the 20th Century: Stay dry! And if you find yourselves stranded in Brooklyn without an adequate supply of red wine and protein bars, feel free to let me know.
And the worst: Since tomorrow’s lecture has also been canceled, you will need to submit your midterm exam online via the Courseworks site for our class.
Defeat via Shutterstock