Bwoglines: Google Edition

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The target audience for Google Nose

The target audience for Google Nose

Google has announced multiple new features from its many services today.

  • Gmail announced Gmail blue, a revolutionary new interface for Google’s e-mail service.
  • YouTube has decided that they have had enough submissions to their long submission contest, and will shut down for 10 years to select a winner.
  • Google Maps has added a treasure map to its array of views; now you can use it to find treasure and get rich, you might as well drop out of college!
  • Google Nose, a new feature that allows you to smell the things you search for, has been added to your search capabilities!
  • Google Japan has created a new, single-touch input system called “patter” .

Amazing that they’re announcing so much stuff on the same day!

Maybe he would fall for this via Shutterstock

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  1. "Freshman Orientation"

    (smooth r&b instrumental music plays)

    Yo! Shoutout to ma nerds, AFro'Sci and Mek-E!
    I got some'n special for y'all
    (slow r&b music continues...)
    Feels good, dont it?
    Shoutout to my home girl, lil Queen Mary! That's ma dean right thur!
    Got some'n smooth right here!
    Let's go!

    (woman moans to slow r&b music)

    Bitches don't know I'm a senior about to gra-du-ate
    Surfing Facebook for pictures to mas-tur-bate
    Hit up the "Columbia 2016" Group, charm myself in,
    Introduce myself, "I'm a freshman too, can't wait to begin!"

    These Columbia College hoes, they like my profile deeeefault--
    Showin off my abs while holdin up my baby caaaaaaahsin
    This beautiful hoe message me like "Aww what a cute muffin!"
    I say damn right miss, we should hang out, you can see more of little Rubin!
    Up in da Aston, she tellin me I'm good with kids
    Then spreadin her legs and we makin Hiltonesque vids

    Da next day, I'm messaged by "Barnard Alice",
    5 foot fo, ninety-five pounds
    with an itty bitty waist and double C hounds
    "You excited to be coming to Columbia this fall? he he he?"
    Like "damn right I am! Can't wait to fuck you in Kent Hall!"

    Then in the Freshman group, I post somethin nerdy
    I say "Anyone else coming from high school win Intel Siemens"?
    Some engineering hoes be like "oooh you must be smart! I wanna taste ya _____"
    Her boyfriend see the post, he flippin me the birdy!

    I message the hoe be like "wanna explore the caaaaaaampus?"
    She says to me "after orientation? sure i'd love to!"
    so i take her around mudd and she gets all suspicioussssss
    "um, for a new student you sure know your way around!"
    right then and there we met some barnard hoes, tits perky and round!
    she forget the question and she freak it onnnn
    i never seen a woman eat pussy like a jew eating nussbaummm

    Then graduation day comes
    And dem hoes see me on da commenceeeement tape
    they pissed like "you aint a freshman, you ape!"
    I toss up my cap and strip off my gown. Got nothin underneathe but my big fat grapes.

  2. Gmail Blue

    Still better than the new Gmail compose.

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