Senior Wisdom: Nick Biekert
Written by Bwog Staff
You’ve all been waiting — and quite frequently complaining in the comments section — for this one. Ladies and gentlemen on the eve of his graduation: The Dark Hand, Bwog’s eternal shadow haunting the comment space, crusading for some sort of truth and justice, and until recently one of campus’ biggest mysteries. He’s still pretty mysterious, though.
Name, Hometown, School: Nick Biekert from Avon, Connecticut, SEAS
Claim to fame? I am the Dark Hand.
Where are you going? To destroy this post’s comment section…WITH NO SURVIVORS!
3 things you learned at Columbia:
- The fire rises
- It doesn’t matter who we are, what matters is our plan. No one cared who I was ‘til I put on the mask.
- …Oh wait no those last two were just more Bane quotes. Sorry, sometimes I get confused. Since I have no actual wisdom of my own I’ll just quote Ralph Waldo Emerson and say that “a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” Like all philosophers, and by extension all humans, he was full of shit. It’s ok though, I still think the quote rings true—and besides if people try to call you on your shit, just claim it’s a postmodernist critique of satire…or something.
Back in my day…Gateway was totally different, although still mildly enjoyable if your group and project were alright, no one talked about CPS or wellness, Theon Greyjoy still had his penis, and Courseworks was actually functional. Sorry Varsity Show, I stole that last one from you guys, and because I tend to avoid platitudes I’ll say you guys did a good job. I don’t know why Bwog has to hate.
Oh yea, and I presume the Spec still sucked, although it’s not like I ever actually read the spec before I took up the crusade for truth and justice.
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I can only hope the world isn’t a worse place when I leave than when I entered it, although the laws of thermodynamics are difficult to subvert.
Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: To EVERYONE else here at Columbia, you are all brilliant in your own unique way. I know that sounds corny and cliché but if it’s true anywhere in the world it’s true at Columbia. Well, except a few SEAS professors, that I have some choice words for in my evaluations/CULPA, but even they’re not so bad. I just wish I had started writing mean course evaluations sooner. I have no idea if it actually makes a difference though.
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Sure, why not.
One thing do to before graduating: Take a class outside of your comfort zone just to challenge yourself. I don’t know if that’s good advice considering how brilliant all you people are and how seriously you take your classes. Don’t stress out over it if it’s not your thing, but just do it. What do I mean by ‘you people?’ Columbians. There I said it.
Any regrets? Every day. I don’t know how anyone can claim to live without regrets. Try not to let it eat you up I guess? I’m still learning. Like right now I’m agonizing over each and every single one of these answers. Oh well #YOLO
Tags: but what will we do without you next year o dark hand, legends, senior wisdom, senior wisdom 2013, separation anxiety, so meta, specsucks, the dark hand, WARNING: game of thrones spoilers in this post, we love you nick