The Heights Gap
Written by Bwog Staff
“Some say The Heights will end in fire / Some say in ice. / From what we’ve tasted of desire / Bwog holds with those who favor fire.”
Either way, The Heights is currently out of the picture for freshmen trying to get by without a fake, and for anyone who wants a delicious marg. 1020 started scanning this weekend and doesn’t want that crowd. The world is practically coming to an end, folks. So what will fill the gap before Doomsday? Our
hopes and wishes theories are below.
- Freshmen flock to Furnald; RAs never bother to make their rounds there; second most epic party in Columbia history.
- Chipotle will stay open past 9 and become a really awesome bar.
- Butler turns into a rave at night, and pretty much all of NYC shows up to the CU campus to party.
- We start going to those clubs downtown that we always said we’d go to.
- Drunch all day instead of going out at night.
- Deluxe Tries To Be A Party Space Part II.
- CC/SEAS/BC students annoy GS students at Haakon’s Hall.
- Tap a Keg rises to glory, and everyone stops at Mexican Deli for the best tacos (and Takis) around.
- We invert our lifestyles to better fit who will serve us alcohol.
- This begins the age of Columbia’s prohibition. All the bars start scanning IDs, then the liquor stores. Students start brewing moonshine out of their dorm basements.
- Everyone just drinks wine alone in their room.
Much too classy via Shutterstock
Tags: bwog wrote this while not drunk, drinking in butler will just become less secretive, oh furnald sorry we pick on you, probably the last one, see mom columbia's not that different from state schools, see you at haakon's hall l8r, the heights, toto i don't think we're at the heights anymore