Our campus is slowly becoming a high school gym

Takes absolutely forever. By forever, we mean about a month, which still seems like an excessively long time. Facilities seems to only work in the early hours of the morning, and it seems to us that the whole thing could get done in about four or five days of consistent labor, perhaps even sometime after finals. Nonetheless our paths will be impeded, our façade obscured, our beautiful spring campus clad in ugly metal dress. To let out some of this pent up frustration, here are some of the things you could do in the time it takes to put up the commencement bleachers:

Core Readings: B-of-the-E Assumptions

• It takes a typical student 4 hours to complete the reading for each class
• CC, LitHum, ArtHum, MusicHum, and 2 GC = 8 classes
• there are 14 weeks of school
• each class meets twice a week

Science?

• 4 hours × 2 classes/week × 14 weeks = 112 hours spent on reading for the average core class
• 31 days × 24 hours/day = 744 hours
• 744/112 = 6.64 core classes you could do the reading for
• 6.64/8 = 83% of the core

The above is if you are studying non-stop. If you are a real human, and need to sleep and eat however, we need to allow for 7 hours sleep, 1 hour getting ready/using the bathroom throughout the day, 20 minutes ( 1/3 hr) for each meal, and 3 meals/day, then:

• (1/3) × 3 + 1 + 7 = 9 hours/day wasted on frivolities
• 31 × 9 = 279 hours spent on basic survival in a month
• 744 – 279= 465 hours left for you to read the core
• 465/112= 4.15 core classes you could do the reading for
• 4.15/8= 51.8% of the core

Note: does not account for time spent on essays, attending classes, or weeping.